Is this real?
by Ayooheather
Summary: The soldier and the spy. After all the years of working and living together, they have grown extremely close. Natasha and Steve never thought of the other as anything more than best friends but one day it changed.
1. Chapter 1

_**AN: Hey everyone. I was a little hesitant on writing an Avengers story because I'm really scared of being out of character but I decided to do it anyways. Please let me know what you think. Should I continue or abandon ship? Enjoy.**_

 **Chapter 1:**

To the world he was Captain America - the world's most selfless hero. To her, he was Steve Rogers - a royal pain in her ass. She should be on a mission or at least training for her next mission but instead here she was in the hospital staring at her partner who was passed out. It has been a few days since he has been unconscious and it was her fault. He was here because he had tried to save her. They were on a mission and things went south. She was ambushed by countless men and like the hero he was, he jumped in and intervened. Thus resulting in him being the one in the hospital bed instead of her.

She sat beside his bed with his hand in hers. His face was covered in cuts and bruises.

"You're such an idiot Rogers. Selfless asshole" she sighed.

This has been the routine since he's been in the hospital. She was there everyday, sitting for hours beside him, just hoping he would finally wake up so she could curse him out. She was beyond furious with him. Why would he put his life on the line for her? She was the black widow. She could take care of herself. She never needed a man to save her or anyone for that matter. Especially Captain America. Although she was upset, a larger part of her was worried and felt an extreme amount of guilt. After all the years they have worked together, they had become extremely close. Besides, Clint - Natasha considered Steve her best friend. A person she could trust with her life and more importantly a person she cared immensely for which was completely out of her character. She wasn't programmed to care. The red room made sure of that. Yet here she was.

She could feel tears start to form but she held them back. The black widow does not let her emotions get the best of her. At least not in was no way she was going to let herself be this vulnerable in the open. She got up and decided it was time to go home. This was becoming too much for her to handle.

* * *

The next few days Natasha indulged into some hardcore training. She refused to go back to the hospital because she needed the space to clear her head. The more busy she was, the less she felt like an emotional train wreck. Instead of her physically visiting, the other teammates would take turns going to the hospital and sending her updates on the golden boy. Whenever one of the guys would ask her why she didn't come see for herself, she would simply reply that she was busy and that was that. No one dared to press the issue.

When she finally learned that he was awake, she was ecstatic. It was as if the weight on her chest had finally lifted and she was more than happy to volunteer herself to be the one to pick him up from the hospital. She wasted no time getting into her car and racing to the hospital. On the way there, she contemplated what she was going to say to him. She was still very much upset that he was so reckless with his own life even though she was happy that he was okay. When she got to his room she saw him with a very displeased face. She stood by the door observing him.

"Doctor, I feel fine"

"Mr. Rogers, you are healing unusually fast but you are still hurt."

Before Steve could protest, a glimpse of red hair caught his eye. There she stood with a smirk on her face.

"Hey old man"

She walked toward him and gently sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed his hand.

"Hey Nat" he said with a big smile spread across his face.

Instead of the warm gesture he was expecting to get next, she ended up plunking him hard right on his forehead.

"Hey! What gives!" he yelled at her while rubbing the sore spot on his forehead.

"That was for you being such a dumbass." She pulled her hand away and gave him a glare.

"What are you talking about?" He was so confused. Sometimes she was like a sour patch kid. One minute she was holding his hand and the next she was being scolding him for whatever it was he did or didn't do.

She stood up making sure to show her dominance in the situation. He could see it in her eyes that she was not happy with him. What could he have done to make her this upset? He just woken up from a coma for god's sake.

"What's wrong Nat?"

He tried to grab her hand but she moved back - crossing her arms.

"Why did you do it?"

"Why did I do what?"

"Push me out of the way! Why in the hell did you do that for?" her eyes were glaring at him.

"Because you were in the way. There was no way you were going to be able to dodge in time. I don't understand why you're so -"

"Mad? You don't understand why I'm so mad? I don't need you to come to my rescue. I'm not one of those damsels in distress. If you haven't noticed I can take care of myself just fine!"

"I never said you were a damsel in distress. I know you can take care of yourself. I just saw you in harm's way and I reacted. Sorry for saving your life" his tone was a bit more harsh than he meant it but he couldn't understand why she was mad at him. He saved people. It was in his DNA. When there's danger, he does what he feels is necessary.

He tried to get out of bed to stand up to be on the same level as her but he winced in pain instead which caused her to glare at him even more.

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing Rogers?"

"I'm trying to be on eye level with you so I can calm you down" he let the breath he was holding out when he settled back down and the pain eased. After a minute of her glaring, he sighed in defeat. None of this made sense and he knew there was nothing he could at that moment to defuse the situation.

"Why are you angry that I saved your life?" he asked in a genuinely confused tone.

She stared at him in disbelief. Without another word she turned and stormed right out the door. She could hear him calling out for her but she refused to go back. She was beyond upset. She was mad that he didn't understand why she was mad - mad that she couldn't get him to understand why she was mad but more importantly she was mad that she was even mad to begin with. He was fine now but the only thing in the back of her mind was _what if._ Knowing him, this wouldn't be the last time he risks his life for her. What if next they weren't so lucky and he ended up not being okay? That was not something she wanted on her conscious.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

The next day, Steve continued to try to convince the doctor to release him but he had no luck. The doctor was adamant on keeping him there to monitor his vitals and to make sure his body was healing properly which didn't make much sense to him since the super soldier serum basically guaranteed that he would be fully functioning in a matter of days. It killed him to be out of commission. He was bored out of his mind. Not only was there nothing to do but the food was absolutely terrible.

He shook his head at the pathetic platter in front of him. He took his fork and tried to poke the mystery meat loaf and decided that the jello was the safest option. Sadly, even the jello tasted strange. He reached over to the cell phone lying on the table to see if he had any miss calls or texts. _None._ Not surprising. He had been calling and texting Natasha nonstop since their fallout but she still hadn't responded. If there was one thing he learned over the past few years was that Natasha Romanoff was a master at ignoring a situation - especially if it involved her emotions.

"Looking good in that dress Rogers"

He looked up to see Clint smirking at him.

"Thanks. It's really airy underneath this thing" he joked back.

Clint took a seat in the chair that was next to Steve's bed and took the meatloaf off of his plate and took a bite of it.

"This tastes like shit" he continued to chomp on the mystery meat.

Steve shook his head and chuckled. When Clint finished the "meat loaf", he worked his way to the rest of the platter which Steve gladly handed over.

"So…"

"What's new Barton?"

Clint filled him in on all the action that was happening with everyone. He ended up learning about more than he would have liked.

"Never a dull moment in Stark tower"

"Actually, it's avengers tower now"

This earned a very confused look from Steve.

"What do you mean?"

"Tony recreated Stark tower to avengers tower. All of one of us get a floor all to ourselves. Didn't Nat tell you?"

"We're not exactly speaking right now." He said coolly with a shrug. He still wasn't sure how that even happened but didn't have the energy to deal with it right now. It's not like she was trying to let him in on the whole mess anyways.

"Ahhh. Explains why she had been training extra hard. The girl literally gave Tony a shiner. She even tried to pick a fight with Banner"

Steve raised his eye in shock. Natasha knew better than to mess with Banner. No one ever messed with Banner. Not because they were scared of getting hurt - everyone was more than equipped to protect themselves - It's just no one wanted to have to be the one to clean up the mess afterward.

"You must have really pissed her off" Clint chuckled at the thought. Steve always did things that made Natasha mad but this time he must have royally fucked up. It takes a lot to work up the Black Widow and seems like each and every time Steve Rogers was the culprit.

"What makes you think it's because of me?" Steve tried to maintain a neutral face.

"C'mon bro. After she came to see you, she came home pissed and I'm not talking "Oh I'm on my period" pissed - I'm talking "I will murder you if you even breath" type pissed. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together"

Steve sighed in defeat. He hated knowing that he made his best friend mad. He still didn't understand why she was so pissed at him. If it was anyone else, it probably wouldn't have gotten to him like that but this was Nat. The whole situation was eating him up alive inside..

"Make things right with her bro. She is your partner after all" Clint's words brought him out of his thoughts.

"I will… I need to get out of this hospital first" Steve threw his hands up in frustration.

Clint laughed at the childlike display the captain was showing.

"I got an idea… Let's bust you outta here."

"How?"

Steve looked out the door and examined the surroundings. There was way too many people to make a clean getaway. He wasn't exactly a small guy and there was no one the doctors would just let him leave. If that was the case, he would have already been at home the moment he first opened his eyes.

"Can you walk?"

Steve stood up and walked over to the door to close it slowly, just in case there were wondering ears. It didn't hurt as much as it did yesterday. Thank god for the super soldier serum. He turned back at Clint, who nodded his head in approval.

"Can you climb?"

He could see the mischievous look on Clint's smirking face and knew automatically what he was thinking. He looked up at the ceiling and contemplated if this was a smart decision. He felt better than yesterday - that was for sure but he also was doing any pull ups or push ups either.

"Any day now.. It's now or never Cap"

After careful consideration, Steve nodded in agreement. He hated hospitals. At this point, he was going to do just about anything to get out of here. Not to mention there was a certain red head he had to talk to. He scanned the room for some real clothes and saw a bag with his belongings in them. He hurried and grabbed the tshirt, pants, and shoes that was sitting in the bag in the corner and put it on quickly - not really caring that Clint was in the room. Privacy was not the main priority at this point.

"Okay. What's the plan?"

Clint grabbed the table and moved it right in front of the door to block it just in case anyone wanted to come in and bust his brilliant idea. Then he grabbed the chair and jumped on it to move the piece on the ceiling aside so they could climb. He looked down at Steve with a triumphant look on his face.

"Do you want to go first or should I?"

Steve threw his hands up immediately.

"You're the expert. Lead the way." He took one look at the hole and was wondering if he could really squeeze in it. His friend pulled himself up without any issues. Now it was Steve's turn. He hopped on the chair and pulled himself through the tiny hole. He felt pain ripple throughout his whole body but it was too late to turn back now. Once he was all the way in, Clint closed the hole back up and started to crawl.

Steve followed behind without hesitation. Clint was a spy so it didn't surprise him that his friend was so comfortable making his way through the vents. Steve on the other hand was starting to feel claustrophobic. There was two things he absolutely hated. The first one was the cold (for obvious reasons) and tight spaces. He forced himself to take deep controlled breaths.

Clint opened the vent and climbed down and Steve did the same. They found themselves in the bathroom. Luckily it was only them or else they would have found themselves in a very compromising situation. Steve opened the bathroom door slightly and saw that there wasn't many people in the main lobby. His heart was racing - Freedom was only a few feet away. He turned back to Clint and they both nodded at each other.

The both walked out of the bathroom calmly. As if nothing was going on out of the ordinary. Clint walked with his head high while Steve was a little more awkward. He tried to avoid eye contact with anyone which probably caused him to look extremely suspicious. Clint tried his hardest to not bust out laughing. He wasn't a spy so being sneaky was definitely out of the norm for him. They managed to make it outside without a single person stopping them. They hurried to the garage and got in Clint's car.

"Just wait til I tell everyone about this" Clint busted out in a fit of laughs as he drove toward the direction of their home.

Steve joined in on the laughter. Even though he had gone on missions where he had to escape his location, this was completely different. It was the most exhilarating moment of his life. Something so simple yet so out of the ordinary for him. The adrenaline rush was so satisfying that it almost made him feel guilty for feeling so good about doing something so wrong.

"Just wait til you see the new place Cap. You're gonna love it"

 _AN: You guys ever start a story and know what you want to happen but don't know how to get there. That's me right now. Please leave reviews and let me know what you think._


	3. Chapter 3

"Welcome back Captain!" Tony's voice radiated through the lobby.

"Thanks Tony. I see you did some renovations" he looked around at the lobby and was amazed at how quickly things changed since he's been gone.

"He sure did. Just wait til you see your room!" Clint chimed in enthusiastically. "I'm gonna go take a nap now"

Steve couldn't help but shake his head. The guy was so simple sometimes.

"Your room is on the third floor. Right under Natasha's. I would show you to your room but I am too busy trying to change the world". Tony started to walk away but then something clicked in his head. "Why are you home so early? Fury said the doctors were going to release you at the end of the week?" He paused for a minute then checked his phone. "You know what, reign check on the story". Tony walked away, furiously typing away on his phone. Steve was glad Tony was too busy to make him explain his recent jail break - there were other things more important right now.

The mention her name caught his attention - reminding him that there was some unfinished business between the two of them. He stood in the elevator debating if he should go to his room or just fix the situation at hand first. After a few minutes of careful consideration, he decided that he might as well see if she's ready to talk to him. When he reached her door, he took a deep breath. Before he had the chance to knock, the door opened. Natasha should there completely surprised to see Steve standing right in front of her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I-um, came to see if you were done being mad at me…" Steve said with a nervous laugh.

Natasha moved aside, letting him into her room. He took a look around and was amazed at how much the decor matched her personality. He could only imagine what Stark did to his floor.

"Nice apartment"

She didn't say anything to him. Instead she stood there with her arms crossed - glaring at him which didn't go unnoticed by Steve.

"What?"

She hurried up and hit him in the arm. Still not letting go of the glare she was giving him.

"Ow. The hell was that for?"

She got ready to swing again but he grabbed her arm just in time to stop the hit.

"Seriously. What is your problem?"

"My problem is - you're supposed to be still in the hospital, resting up yet here you are - obviously still hurt"

"Why didn't you return any of my calls or text?"

She pulled her arm away with force and turned around toward the kitchen area. Steve followed her instantly. Her behavior was driving him absolutely crazy.

"Can you calm down for just one second?"

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down"

He slowly walked toward her. He put his hands on her waist so she couldn't walk away from him.

"What's going on?" he said softly with a look of genuine concern.

When she didn't say anything he tilted her head so she was forced to look into his eyes. He could tell by the look in her eyes that this was not the same Natasha he knew. There was something different in her eyes - worry, guilt even.

"You shouldn't have risked your life for me. I'm not worth it" she said quietly and looked away.

In that moment, it clicked - he finally got it. He pulled her in for a hug. He's seen her vulnerable before but never like this.

"You're my partner Nat. My best friend. I'm never going to let you be in harm's way. You're worth it to me"

She pulled away from him and took a deep breath to draw every ounce of courage she had.

"You're my best friend too. That's why I don't want you risking your life for someone like me"

"Someone like you? What do you mean by that?"

"C'mon Rogers. You're practically the definition of good. I'm not like-"

"- like me? Natasha, everyone has a past. That doesn't mean that you're a bad person"

When she didn't say anything, he grabbed her by the waist again.

"We've all done things we're not exactly proud of - but here we are. You chose to turn your life around and become a part of something that fights for the good of others. Sometimes we gotta make a decision that isn't necessarily the morally correct one but we do what has to be done. And I care about you. For whatever reason, you've become a huge part of my life. Nothing will EVER stop me from trying to protect you- because you're worth it to me"

This time she looked at him right in the eyes. His eyes were so sincere that it made her believe in his words - more importantly believe in herself. She immediately pulled him in for a tight hug. It felt good to feel him hug her back with the same amount of affection. When she pulled away, her demeanor went back to being the confident girl he knew and loved.

"So how did you get out of that place? I thought the docs had you on lockdown"

"Long story. Let's just say vents aren't exactly my choice of escape routes"

Nat started to laugh uncontrollably which earned her a playful glare from the soldier.

"I wish I was there. Captain America - Golden boy, actually did a naughty thing. That's priceless. How does it feel to be fun for once" she kinked her eyebrows at him.

Before he could say respond, Steve's phone started to ring. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the caller id.

 _Sharon._

Natasha took a quick glance at his phone and gave him her signature smirk.

"Thought you didn't call her."

"I didn't…"

Steve looked at the phone - debating if he should pick it up or not.

"Pick it up" she nudged him before walking away to give him so privacy. Natasha knew Steve was a shy guy and wasn't exactly experienced when it came to that department of his life. Whenever he was around pretty girls, he always got tongue tied. When she first met Steve, he was always a nervous wreck around her - always fidgeting and fumbling with his there was that awkward time period where he would talk to her as if she were one of his soldiers - always calling her ma'am - keeping the conversations strictly about business. It took almost a year for him to be comfortable enough around her to let his guard down and talk to her like a normal human being.

After 5 minutes, he got off the phone and walked into the living room. He saw her sitting down on her couch and slowly sat down next to her. She didn't say anything but she didn't have to - her face said it all.

"She asked me on a date tonight" he began to explain to his best friend.

Natasha raised her eyebrow at him - urging him to continue.

"But I turned her down"

"Why? Too shy? Or too scared." She teased him. She expected him to blush like he usually does but this time he didn't - he just smiled at her.

"I told her I had plans already" he shrugged and reached for the remote to turn on the tv.

"Oh yeah? With who?"

He turned his head slightly and gave her a half smile.

"With you. Can you order us some food? I'm starving and there was nothing in your fridge"

His answer caught her off guard. Normally she would be all for him going on a date. Hell she's been trying to set him up with just about any girl for almost a year now but she was somewhat relieved that he didn't accept the date. She was looking forward to spending time with him - especially since their fight. She was going to say something witty in response but he gave her those puppy dog eyes that she could never resist.

"I'll order some pizza" she started toward the kitchen and rummaged through her drawer for take out menus. She hurried up and placed the order then walked back to the couch. She sat back down and leaned into his nice warm body.

"Did you order my favorite?"

"Two Large everything pizzas with extra olives"

"That's my girl" he smiled at her before pulling her into him as they cuddled and watched whatever was playing on the tv.

There was something different between them now. After the argument was resolved, they both felt a subtle shift in their relationship but neither wanted to acknowledge it - scared that it would ruin the friendship they had built. _Friends._ Steve and Natasha had to remind themselves that they were just friends. There was no way they could be more. At least not in this lifetime.

 _AN: Please leave a review._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

"Stop pulling your punches Sam!"

Steve dodged his punches and hit him with a mean uppercut - causing Sam to get knocked down.

"Look Cap, I'm the only one stupid enough to spar with you right now. I'm not gonna be the one to put you back in the hospital" Sam gritted his teeth, slowly trying regain his composure from the hard hit.

"You wish" Steve said in a challenging voice.

Steve sighed in frustration when he realized his friend wasn't taking the bait. It has been few days since he had left the hospital and he was feeling fine. The bruises were practically gone and the pain was now nonexistent yet everyone treated him like wounded puppy. He begged Fury to put him back on a mission, any mission. He was desperate to get back into the game but of course - despite all the pleading he'd done, it was a no go. He was in serious need of some action in his life or else he was going to go crazy

"Get up" he demanded Sam. "This time stop fighting like a girl. Nat hits me harder than you do"

"That's cause she's a beast"

This time Sam didn't hold anything back. Steve was ecstatic to finally get some real fight time. Every punch he threw was blocked. Wilson even managed to get a few good punches in. Steve was totally focused on the fight until he caught a glimpse of red - the one and only Natasha Romanoff. He looked in her direction and saw her flirting with some guy. _Who the hell is he?_ Before he knew it, Sam had connected his fist right to his chest sending him flying back.

"Oh shit. You okay man?"

"Ugh" he moaned in pain. "That one kinda hurt" He sat up carefully - feeling an instant sharp pain on his side. "I guess I asked for that" he managed to chuckle despite the hurt he was experiencing.

Steve turned his head back in the direction of where Natasha was but she was gone . Sam noticing his friend's gaze immediately smirked.

"I would say I'm just that good but it looks like you were distracted"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"Hey" Sam raised his hand in surrender "No need to get defensive. Red is one fine ass girl"

Steve got up on his feet and kept his face neutral.

"Me and Nat are just friends"

The other avengers have been teasing him for months on end about this supposed crush he had on Natasha. No matter how many times he would deny their assumptions, no one seemed to believe him.

"Whatever man" Sam shrugged - dropping the subject. It surprised him how oblivious Captain America was when it came to his own feelings. "So what time does the party start".

Steve stopped hitting the punching bag in front of him. "Party? What Party?" he looked at Sam who looked like he accidentally spilled the beans on a surprise party.

"I meant.. What are we doing tonight" he gave a nervous laugh trying to shift the conversation in another direction.

"You're about as smooth as sandpaper Wilson" Steve laughed at his friend's failed attempt at changing the subject. "Seriously, what party?"

"Fine. I'll tell you but if you tell anyone I told you, I'm going to kick your ass" Sam shook his head in defeat. The look on Cap's face showed that there was no way he was going to get out of this one. "Tony is throwing you a welcome back party"

"I've been back for almost a week now" Steve raised his eyebrow. He was going to say something to protest but he knew that once Tony wanted something to do something, there was no changing his mind. "I hate when he throws us parties. It always ends up with me with me and Banner being responsible for you guys. Then having to deal with your horrible hangovers the next day" he started to whine. "It sucks not being able to get drunk" he mumbled.

Sam looked at his watch checking the time. 5:00 pm. "Look Cap, as much as I love spending 4 hours sparring with you… I believe it's time for us to grab something to eat and get ready for this party"

Steve nodded his head in agreement. He didn't realize that much time had passed already. His stomach growled at the thought of food. "Alright man, I'll see you later". They gave each other a fist bump and went to their own floors.

As soon as Steve got to his floor and closed the door, his clothes started flying off. Whenever he was alone in his apartment, he would walk around in his boxer briefs - which for the record was the best thing created in the present day. They were so comfortable and let's face it - the tighty whitey underwear in the 40s were anything but flatter. As he was about to hop in the bathroom to take a shower, he heard his front door open. He already knew who it could be.

"Nat? Is that you" he yelled out even though he already knew it was her.

She strolled into his room a few minutes later and jumped on his bed. She looked him up and down, gazing over his almost nearly naked body.

"Looking good Rogers" she said in her flirtatious voice. "I can see why all the girls are dying to see what is under that Captain America suit" she winked causing him to turn a few shades red. She had to admit, Steve Rogers was sexy. His perfectly sculpted muscles were enough to make any girl drool - she wasn't an exception to this.

"Glad you like the view" he teased her back as he quickly recovered from her comment. He was used to Natasha seeing him in his boxer briefs so it wasn't exactly new territory. Nat and him had grown so close that they would usually spend the night in each other's beds - especially when they both have nights where they couldn't sleep - haunted by the demons of their past.

He walked into his closet and grabbed a pair of sweats and a towel before he went into his bathroom, leaving Natasha to do whatever she wanted while he showered. Although it never really took him very long to take showers anyways. The military conditioned him to be efficient with his time. He got out of the shower approximately 7 minutes later, feeling refreshed and clean. He opened the door and didn't see his best friend lying on his bed anymore. Instead he followed the noises that were coming from the kitchen to find her cooking - something that didn't happen often.

"Natasha Romanoff cooking for me. Pinch me now - I must be in heaven" he smirked at the sight.

"Ha ha very funny Rogers. I think I can manage some…" she picked up the box in front of her to examine what she was making "Hamburger helper" she smiled triumphantly at the dinner she was currently working on. It was true she wasn't much of a cooker - never really had time to learn considering the line of work she was in but she did know how to follow directions.

Steve laughed - shaking his head as he walked over to her. He stood close behind her and took a peek over her shoulder to see how she was doing. He took a deep breath - taking in the smell of the hamburger helper and a hint of strawberry scent coming from her hair. "Mmm. Smells good"

He turned to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle before taking a seat at the counter. "You know.." he took a sip from the water "I'm really enjoying this domestic side of you"

She rolled her eyes - remaining focused on the meal. With her luck, if she took her eyes off of the pan for even one minute, it would probably end up disastrous - it happened every time she attempted to multitask while cooking and she wasn't going to chance it this time. When it was done, she turned the stove off and grabbed two plates from the nearby cupboard. She loaded the plates with food and set the food on the counter before taking a seat next time him and diving in.

"It's delicious" she moaned after taking her first bite.

Steve gave her an amused look - trying his best to stifle the laugh threatening to escape his lips.

"Nat" he started to laugh, unable to suppress it anymore "You cooked a meal from a box. It's practically a guarantee it's going to be good"

"If I knew you were going to be so ungrateful, I would have just made us protein shakes" she glared at him for a bit before continuing to devour her meal.

"I'm joking Nat" he continued to laugh. "I think you should cook every night for me"

"In your dreams Rogers" she grabbed her their plates and dropped them into the sink before turning to leave.

"Where are you going" he asked curiously.

"Well, I have plans tonight but since I cooked… I'm sure Captain America can handle doing the dishes" she smirked at him.

"Yes Ma'am"

When she left, he finished the rest of the hamburger helper. It still amazed him how food in a box could be so delicious. Back then, everything was prepared from scratch. He hurried up and cleaned the dishes before heading back to his room to decide what he was going to wear to his surprise party.

He wanted to wear something casual - tshirt and jeans but decided against it. This was a Tony Stark party which meant it was going to be anything but casual. After 10 minutes of not being able to decide, he grabbed his phone and called Natasha. It rang a few times before she finally picked up.

"Miss me already?" he heard her flirty voice and smiled.

"Something like that" he chuckled "What are you wearing"

"Are you trying to have phone sex with me" she asked in an amused tone. Natasha of all people knew Steve wasn't that kind of guy but it was still fun to mess with him.

"Uh - No. Of course not. I just - "

"I am currently wearing a bra…" she spoke slowly and seductively "And a thong"

Steve closed his eyes immediately picturing Natasha in bed wearing only a bra and panties. He was starting to feel aroused by just the thought of it. When he didn't reply after a minute or two, he heard her laugh and quickly tried to think of something to say.

"I just wanted to ask you if I should wear a button up or a polo" he said quickly, fumbling his words a bit.

"That's what you called me for? I thought the phone sex was a little more interesting" she continued to tease him. "Go with the button up"

He quickly thanked her and hung up the phone. What was going on with him? First he was feeling jealous when he saw her talking to some guy - now he was picturing her naked and getting turned on by it. Nat was his friend - best friend. There was no way he could like her. That was crossing a line that he wasn't sure he could even cross. Even if he did like her, there was no chance in hell that she would reciprocate those feelings. He shook his head, forcing himself to stop overthinking things. _It's been a long day_. He kept reminding himself.

He went back into his closet and grabbed his black dress shirt and grey dress pants. When was done getting dressed, he looked in the mirror to make sure he was presentable.

Tonight was going to be one interesting night and Steve Rogers wasn't sure he was ready for it.

 _AN: How are you guys liking the story so far? Please leave a review. I've been rewatching all of the captain america / avengers movie hoping that I can get a better understanding of Steve and Natasha think. Hopefully I'm doing a good job. :D_


	5. Chapter 5

"I've practically downed half a bottle of vodka and I am still sober" he sighed in defeat. He watched as all his friends were borderline buzzed and felt out of place.

"Don't worry friend. I've brought asgardian alcohol just for you" Thor smiled proudly as he pulled a tiny bottle from his pocket.

Steve examined the bottle and then opened the cap to smell it "Well it sure smells strong" he hesitated a bit, not sure if he should try it or not.

"Just a little, that stuff isn't anything like this pathetic water you people on earth call vodka"

Steve shrugged his shoulder and took a big gulp - what's the worst that can happen?. He closed his eyes and gave it a minute to see if he would feel the effects. He opened his eyes slowly to see all the guys staring at him.

"Sorry guys. I feel nothing" he smiled.

"I was really hoping for that to work" Tony said with a sigh of disappointment "What a sight it would be to have our Cap here drunk"

"It must suck to be you" Clint added before taking another shot of Patron to the head "I couldn't imagine being sober 24/7 - especially after long missions"

"Trust me, it sucks be the sober one when all of you idiots are piss drunk" Steve got up and glanced at the bar and saw his best friend making herself a drink. "I'll be right back"

She saw him immediately walking toward her and smiled.

"Whatcha got there" he said nodding toward her martini drink.

"A dirty martini" she took a sip of it and passed it to him "Try it"

He took one little sip and gave her a disgusted look.

"This is terrible" he pushed it back to her quickly.

She grabbed a cup of ice and poured cranberry juice in it and gave it to him.

"Here you go, big baby" she chuckled.

"Thanks" he downed fast, happy to get rid of the taste of her drink. "Why are you over here alone?" he raised his eyebrow at her.

"Too much testosterone in that corner" she smirked

Before he could reply with something witty, he heard Tony yell from across the room for them. "Red and Capsicle! Get your asses over here"

"Well, it looks like our presence is needed" he gave her a small smile before holding out his hand which she grabbed happily. He lead her to the avenger's corner and they both took a seat on the couch.

"Hey Cap, I don't think you ever told everyone how you managed to leave the hospital early. Do tell us how that went down" As soon as Tony spoke, all the other avengers quickly agreed that they wanted to get the full story.

"Yeah Steve, do tell" Natasha smirked at him

"Well… me and Clint climbed through the ceiling and vents since the doctors didn't want to release me"

"Let's just say, Cap should stick to being a soldier" Clint chimed in "The guy sucks at sneaking out" he began to laugh "You guys should have seen him sweating bullets when we had to walk out of the lobby. I thought he was going to piss his pants"

"Steve has been watching a lot of prison break lately" Bruce added.

"We gotta change his name to Captain Orange is the new black" Tony howled in laughter.

Steve turned red as all the avengers continue to laugh at him. This couldn't be anymore embarrassing for him.

"Naughty boy" he heard Nat whisper in his ear and saw that she was smirking at him. He stuck his tongue out at her and poked her side - knowing how ticklish she was.

"Stop it Rogers" she tried to put on her serious face but failed because he knew exactly where her weak spots were. They continued this for awhile before they were interrupted by a loud cough.

They immediately stopped and realized that the whole team was staring at them.

"What?" Steve and Natasha said in unison.

"Just date already - or at least fuck each other. We can cut the sexual tension with a knife" Tony began to say then raised his hand knowing the two would protest like they always did.

"Anyways, let's play a game" Tony went to grab a few more bottles of liquor and refilled everyone's shot glass. "Truth or dare. I'll go first"

"Clint, Truth or Dare" he said with a sly face.

"Dare." Clint said unamused.

"I dare you to pick any one of these girls and give them a kiss"

"Easy" he walked over to Natasha and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"That doesn't count" Tony whined "She's a part of our team"

Clint shrugged "You weren't specific"

Steve felt the burning jealousy in his stomach again but hid it quite well. His face was neutral and he avoided eye contact with Natasha. The feeling only got worse once Natasha laughed it off and didn't seem bothered by the kiss at all. He reached for Thor's magic liquor and poured into his half full shot glass and drank it, hoping that he could somehow take the edge off. Wishful thinking.

Little did he know, Natasha noticed him tense up beside her when Clint kissed her. She glanced at him but noticed that he wasn't exactly laughing like everyone else and wondered if he was somehow jealous by the harmless act of public display. She didn't want to ask him if he was okay in front of everyone so she let it slide.

"Okay well it's my turn" Clint said. "Rogers, truth or dare"

"Um, truth" he wasn't exactly feeling adventurous.

"Do you like anyone right now and who" Clint wanted to see if Steve would openly admit his crush on the red head girl.

All eyes were on Steve which made him even more uncomfortable. He glanced beside him and saw that Natasha was waiting for his answer as well. He had to think of something on the spot.

"No I don't" He said as confidently as possible. He looked around to see if his answer was convincing enough for everyone. All the guys seemed to buy it however when he looked at his best friend she raised her eyebrows at him - letting him know with her facial expression that she did not buy it for one second.

"Well I guess it's my turn again since Cap's answer was a bit boring" Clint said. He took a few seconds to come up with a good question. "Nat. Truth or Dare"

"Truth." she said unamused.

"Really Nat? How boring of you" Clint whined "Fine. Out of all the guys here, who would you make a sex tape with"

She raised her eyebrow and looked at all of the guys. "Are these my only options" she teased. "Well I guess if I had to choose it would be Steve"

Everyone's eyes almost popped out of their heads.

"Wait a minute" Tony began to protest "You Pick Captain Virgin's ass over here" his face was in complete disbelief.

Steve glared at Tony. "Language" he said sternly

"My point proven" Tony shook his head "come on red. Why Cap?"

"Because I know what's under the suit" Natasha smirked.

She knew her answer was going to stir the pot since the other guys already thought there was more to her and Steve than a platonic relationship but she didn't care. It was amusing to watch Steve try to clarify the situation which only fueled the suspicions of the everyone even more.

* * *

Steve was extremely thankful for the night to be over. Their game of truth or dare had gotten a bit wild ending with Thor streaking through the building and the Banner getting so mad he ended up releasing the other guy. Tony just didn't know which line to not cross - the man had no filter.

When he reached his floor, he headed straight to his room and stripped off all of his clothes like he always does. Clothes were overrated. He washed his face and brushed his teeth then got in bed. It didn't take too long before he heard someone open his door. Natasha was still dressed in her cocktail dress and headed straight to his closet to change into one of tshirts. When she walked out, she gave him a wink and crawled into bed right next to him - getting comfortable.

"So…" she said with an amused smirk on her face. "You know that you're a terrible liar right?"

"I don't know what you mean" he laughed.

"Tell me. Who's the girl? Is it Agent 13? Or that girl in stats"

He shook his head in amusement trying to bury his face in the pillow to avoid having to answer her question. Of course Natasha didn't let him get away that easy. She climbed on top of him and snatched the pillow to the side while pinning his arms so he couldn't move and forced to address the issue.

"C'mon Nat. Don't make me do this" he groaned. He could easily flip her over and gain control of the situation but didn't because he knew it would just be a never ending fight for control between them. He could tell that she was not going to let him go to sleep until he gave her an answer.

"There is someone I like… but she's unavailable" he said trying to choose his words carefully.

"She has a boyfriend?"

"No" he shook his head. "She's not with anyone… that I know of" he paused a bit trying to form the right words. "It's just this girl is a bit out of my league"

"Bullshit" she scoffed in disbelief "I have a hard time believing that there is any girl on the face of this planet that is out of your league. Maybe the other way around but never too good for you"

Steve lifted her up and placed her next to him. "This girl is unavailable" he sighed "so attractively unavailable".

There was a dull ache in Natasha's heart just listening to her best friend pine over this mystery girl. Whoever this girl was definitely had an effect on Steve and she couldn't help but feel envy. In a perfect world, Natasha would have done anything to be the girl for him but this wasn't a perfect world - this was reality. Her past was far too tainted for someone as perfect as he was.

"What's her name?" she asked quietly.

"Does it matter?"

She turned and saw a brooding look on his face and shrugged. "I guess it doesn't matter"

The two of them sat in comfortable silence.

"Nat" Steve said quietly breaking the silence.

"Hm?" she turned and looked at him.

"Do you believe in soul mates?"

"You already know my views on love" she said with a smirk.

"No. I don't" He grabbed her hand and shook his head. "I know what the red room taught you. I know the Black widow doesn't believe in love but I don't know what Natasha Romanoff believes"

She looked into his serious blue eyes. Times like these make her realize that Steve Rogers truly did understand her - not just the hard exterior of the Black Widow but as a woman. She looked away, searching her soul for the answer that she was looking for.

"To be honest, I never really put much thought into this topic" she laughed softly before continuing "I guess as a woman, I don't believe in Monogamy".

"What do you mean?" he asked with sincere curiosity. "You don't believe there is one person out there who could be tailor made just for you?"

"Not really. Maybe. I don't know" She struggled with her words a bit " I don't believe humans are monogamous by nature" she shrugged. "You must think I'm a slut" she chuckled. She expected him to judge her because of her answer but when she looked into his eyes - there was nothing but sincere curiosity.

"Of course I don't. I just want to see it from your perspective. Can you explain it to me" he said softly.

"Monogamy can be hard for some people. I just don't think a lot of people can do it" she paused slightly "I think that it takes work to be committed to one person. To be with someone for extensive amount of time and to be able to work through obstacles - it's tough. Not saying that I wouldn't practice monogamy if I ever decided to actually date"

"I think I understand" He squeezed her hand softly and looked deeply in her eyes. "But contrary to belief, I think that when you find the right guy, your definition of love will be completely different" he leaned over and kissed her gently on her forehead.

The talk had become a lot heavier than she had expected to go but she was relieved that he didn't seem to judge her based on her opinion on relationships but she wasn't surprised. He might seem self righteous at times but he never made her feel uncomfortable for being who she was. This was the first time they have ever talked about something like this - sure they had deep conversations before but this one was different. Normally conversations like this would make Natasha run for the hills but with Steve, she knew she was safe. She didn't have to worry about fitting the mold to cater to his needs because he didn't need someone to stroke his ego or pretend to be what he wanted her to be - the only thing he cared about was having an honest relationship with her.

"Let's get some sleep" he said as he reached over to turn off the lights. He could feel her scoot her body closer to his and instinctively put his arm around her waist. "Good night Nat"

"Good night Steve"

 _AN: I really thought it was important to embody a bit of Scarlett Johansson into the black widow. In past interviews, Scarlett said she didn't believe in monogamy which I feel like for a person like Black Widow who never experienced love nor believed in it who have the same beliefs. Hopefully you guys liked the chapter. Remember to keep leaving reviews so I can continue to be motivated to continue to write. :D_


	6. Chapter 6

" _Captain Rogers, I am sorry for having to disturb your sleep but I must inform you that your presence is requested._ " Friday's voice echoed through the silence.

"Go away" Natasha mumbled in her sleep. She was a light sleeper but Steve on the other hand was out like a light bulb.

" _I am terribly sorry Agent Romanoff but this is an urgent matter_ "

Natasha groaned in frustration. She lightly elbowed Steve in the stomach causing him to jerk up in shock. Unless she had to be, Natasha Romanoff was definitely not a morning person.

"Ow. What was that for?" He yelled - still half asleep.

"Shut up" she said flatly "Friday needs you" she turned on her side to attempt to go back to sleep.

"Bless the man that falls in love with you" he murmured which earned him another elbow to the ribs. "Ow" he said loudly and rubbed his side.

"What's going on Friday" he wiped his eyes trying to wake himself up..

" _Captain Rogers. Mr. Fury is requesting your presence for an urgent mission"_

The word mission caught his attention immediately. All the drowsiness he had felt from being woken up was now being replaced by excitement. This was the moment he had been begging for since he had escaped the hospital.

"Let Fury know I will meet with him in about 15 minutes" Steve said and hopped out of bed - practically running to the bathroom.

When he was doing brushing his teeth and washing his face, he hurried to his closet and changed into a pair of jeans and white v neck. He wasn't sure what the mission would entail so he decided to keep it casual and change if need be. Steve quietly walked out of his closet, trying his best to not wake up but he noticed that she was sitting at the edge of the bed, already awake - waiting for him.

"Hey" he said softly and sat next to her "I'm sorry I woke you up"

Natasha shook her head and gave him a soft smile. "You didn't." Then she looked him in the eyes with a serious look on her face. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Before he responded, she already knew what his answer would be. Of course he was ready. He was Captain America. The truth was if she was in his shoes, she would be acting just like him right now.

"I'm more than ready" he replied confidently. "Don't worry"

"Don't flatter yourself" she scoffed. "Go. Fury is waiting." she said giving him her signature smirk.

He gave her a quick squeeze on her shoulder and a kiss on the cheek before turning to leave to find out what exactly his mission was. As soon as he was out of sight, Natasha laid back on the bed and wrapped herself in his blanket. Although she told him that she wasn't worried, deep down she was feeling the complete opposite. She was worried about him going back into the field after only resting for a week - if you could call it "resting" since he had practically tripled his workout regime during the past week. She knew he was more than capable of taking care of himself - everyone on the avengers was well trained but it didn't ease her worry.

Steve Rogers was a good soldier - an amazing fighter but he was too self sacrificing. By now she knew him like the back of her hand. He was a man of action - the do now and face the consequences later. She on the other hand was completely opposite. She analyzed the situation fully before heading in - only doing what was necessary to complete the mission. She calculated her moves whereas Steve acted on impulse.

The old Natasha Romanoff would never lose sleep over anyone especially when it had nothing to do with her personally. Yet here she was, probably growing wrinkles by the second. There was something about Steve that just made her want to be more. She would never openly admit it. No - the black widow does not do love because love is for children.

Or maybe there was more to love than what she was conditioned to believe. Natasha immediately pushed those thoughts away. There was no way she could like Rogers as more than a friend. Preposterous. "Pull yourself together Romanoff. You are being ridiculous" she quietly cursed herself.

All of a sudden her phone rang. She grabbed it to saw that it was Steve. She took a deep breath to gather herself before answering.

"Miss me already?" she said in her usual flirty tone. She could hear him laugh on the other end of the line.

" _I just wanted to let you know I'm going to be gone for about a week - two tops"_

"Where's your mission?"

" _I uh-"_

"Let me guess, Classified" she couldn't help but roll her eyes.

" _Sorry Nat. I can tell you that I am going undercover"_

"Undercover? Without me? What the hell is fury thinking?" she practically yelled into the phone. She could hear him try to reason with her but she zoned out.

She could feel her anger rising. She couldn't believe that Nick Fury was about to let Steve Rogers do a solo undercover mission. STEVE ROGERS - the guy who couldn't lie to save his life. Hell no, this was a dummy mission waiting to happen and she wasn't about to just sit back and watch the whole operation burn down in flames. She ended the call abruptly - not even bothering to inform him of her plan.

She jumped out of bed and raced to her room. She took the quickest shower of her life and got dressed. She was done getting ready in a matter of 10 minutes then marched her way to Fury's office.

* * *

 _Bang. Bang. Bang._

"Fury, you better let me in you bastard" she yelled from the other side of the door.

It took only a few seconds for the door to open.

"What are you doing here Agent Romanoff?" Fury said in an annoyed tone before walking back to his desk and taking a seat. "This better be good"

She took a deep breath before walking toward his desk. There was no point in being hostile toward Fury - that method didn't work with him. She let her anger get the best of her which she shouldn't have done. She had to remain calm and collected to get what she needed.

"Sorry Fury but I found out that you have assigned Captain Rogers for a solo undercover mission. I came to get the details on his assignment"

"Now why would I give you that?" he raised an eyebrow at her. "Especially since you just called me a bastard"

"Because you sent Steve Rogers on a mission that was made for a spy" she said cooly "And besides, you wouldn't have opened the door if I knocked politely, now would you" she smirked at him.

She could see Fury contemplate her request. There was no way he was going to say no to her especially after all the years she had been working for him. She didn't want to toot her own horn but she was his favorite.

"Fine" he pulled out a folder from his desk and handed it to her "I hope you know what you're getting yourself into Romanoff"

Natasha Romanoff always got what she wanted.

* * *

Natasha arrived in Washington DC in merely a few hours. She used her plane ride time to review the file to make sure she was fully prepared to throw herself into the situation. It didn't take her very long before she found him. She silently broke into Wilson's old house - putting her super spy skills to the test. She could hear the water running in the bathroom and creeped her way to the room and saw the door closed. She quietly laid back on the bed and rested her head against the headboard, waiting patiently for him to come out. If her calculations were correct, he would be opening that door in exactly 3 minutes - which was exactly what happened.

He opened the door, with only a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Hey there soldier" she said in her black widow voice right along with her smirk.

He jumped in shock, not expecting her to be here.

"Jesus Christ" he yelled - taking a deep breath to trying to recover from the surprise "What are you doing here" he asked suddenly feeling self conscious because a towel drop away from being in his birthday suit.

"I thought you would miss me too much to be away from me for so long so I decided to set up a little arrangement with Fury to partner us up together. Besides I think I caught you at a perfect time" she winked at him.

The undeniable blush started to creep on his face. She smirked at how innocent he could be sometimes. The man had no problem with walking around in his boxer briefs around her yet now that he's in his towel he reverts to being a little school boy. She didn't understand his logic.

He hurries up and digs in his suitcase for a pair of boxer briefs - quickly putting them on. Feeling a little less exposed he sits down on the bed next to her.

"So I'm assuming the criteria of my undercover persona is changed" he said in his Captain America voice.

"A bit. The only change is you have a girlfriend now" she smirked at him.

"Tell me you have Jessica Alba waiting for me in the living room" he smirked back at her.

"Sorry, looks like we were short on hot celebrities. Looks like you're stuck with little ol me"

He looked her up and down with a smirk of his own. "I think I can work with that"

"Is Captain America flirting with me?" she teased him

"I'm just working with what I got. Being flexible" he teased back causing her to laugh

She rolled her eyes at him. "You're kinda cute when you wanna be - for an old man that is" She hopped out of bed and started toward the door.

"Where are you going" he yelled out before she was out of the room.

"Letting you get dressed so we can hurry up and start this mission unless you want me to stay and assist you. Old.. Man" she kinked her eyebrows at him, sporting her infamous smirk.

He shook his head. "I think I can handle it. Give me 10 minutes to gather my things and then we can head over to our new house… babe"

Natasha laughed at his pet name and blew him a flirty kiss before turning to leave. She had a feeling this was about to turn into a very fun mission.

 _AN: Thanks for all of the support everyone has given me. You guys are awesome_


	7. Chapter 7

"Fury out done himself" Steve mumbled as he looked around at the house and was impressed. On the outside, the house was medium sized, not too big but not small either but on the inside the house with beyond gorgeous - fully decked out with the nicest furniture and decor.

Natasha on the other hand didn't seem to care. Materialistic things never excited her. She headed toward the fridge and saw that it was fully stocked.

"I see who the favorite of all the avengers are" she said sarcastically. "They never give me this much options when I'm undercover".

"That's cause I eat enough for a family of four" Steve smiled widely.

Natasha nodded her head in agreement. Steve was always hungry. His metabolism was running at the speed of light so it didn't matter how much he ate, he wouldn't gain a pound unless it was muscle. Lucky him.

There was a knock on the door that caught both of their attention. Steve reluctantly went to the door quietly and looked through the peephole and saw a couple standing there. Neighbors.

He opened the door slowly.

"Hello" he said with a smile. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Hello there neighbor. Just wanted to introduce ourselves. My name is Danny" he reached his hand out for a handshake. "And this is my wife Melinda"

"Hello Melinda" Steve shook her hand as well.

"We also brought you some homemade lasagna" Melinda said as she handed him an aluminum tray.

"Thank you very much. My name is Chris-"

"-And my name is Natalie" Natasha came to Steve's side and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I was wondering what took you so long babe" she leaned up and gave him a quick kiss which surprised him a bit even though he was hiding it rather well if he had to say so himself. It never ceases to amaze him how quickly Nat could get into character.

"Sorry baby. Our neighbors here - Danny and Melinda brought us some lasagna to welcome us to the neighborhood. Uh, This is my girlfriend"

Natasha smiled at the couple warmly. She was taking a mental note of how awkward the body language of the couple were. There was something off about them. The man kept trying to peek into the house which thankfully for Steve's size, blocked his view. "That was very kind of you"

"No problem. It was nice to meet you two. If you guys ever need anything, we're only two doors down" The man and woman rushed away in a hurry.

Once the door shut, Steve and Natasha headed back to the kitchen. Natasha snatched the tray from Steve's hands and threw it in the trash.

"Hey, I love lasagna" He began to pout.

She couldn't help but roll her eyes at his childlike behavior.

"Oh please. Did you not notice how weird that couple was being? They probably poisoned it"

"They were a bit weird but maybe you're being a bit paranoid" he began to protest but saw the look she was giving him and decided it was best to trust her judgment. "Uh, I think I'll just eat the spaghetti in the fridge"

Natasha simply opted for a protein shake instead of actual food - it was more time efficient. There were definitely more important things to think about than what to eat. She pulled out the mission file and began to look at it once again.

"So we need to find this guy Eric" she opened the file, laid it down on the table for Steve to see. "He's the owner of the biggest club in D.C. Supposedly he has direct connections to Hydra. We need to get to him and infiltrate as much information we can get"

"This spaghetti is amazing" he moaned as he took another bite.

"For fuck's sake, Steve focus" Natasha barked at him.

"Sorry. This spaghetti is amazing though - you should -" he stopped midsentence noticing the glare she was giving him. "So what's the plan"

"The plan is we continue to act like a couple" she raised her eyebrow at him "meaning you need to act a little more natural around me. Don't think I didn't notice that I caught you off guard with that kiss earlier"

Steve raised his hand in surrender knowing there was no point in arguing with her.

"So we go to that club tonight" he looked at her to make sure they were on the same page.

"Exactly. Hope you can hang old man" she teased him.

"These old jokes are getting really old"

"Like you are" she smirked.

Club scenes were never Steve's thing. Not that he had anything against it - it's just he couldn't get drunk and he was didn't have much game when it came to women. He had left Natasha at the bar to go scan the perimeters to make sure they were fully prepared for whatever could happen. He noted that all the bouncers were armed however he was still unable to find this Eric guy. The security in this club was definitely tighter than most which meant that when they do happen to find the guy, he wouldn't be alone.

When walked back to the bar, he noticed that there was a guy hitting on Natasha. Who can blame him? She was easily the sexiest woman in the club right now especially since she wore a skin tight black dress that hugged her frame - showing off all of her curves. Her hair was in loose curls - exactly the way Steve liked it. Hell, she could be in sweat pants with her hair tied up and Steve would still find her the most attractive woman. He could feel his jealousy begin to rise again - balling his fists by his side. What made it worse was that Natasha was entertaining the douche. Before walking over there, he took a few deep breaths making sure to play it cool even though he was burning with jealousy. After all, there was no need to draw any unnecessary attention to themselves.

He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "Hey babe. I was looking all over for you" he leaned down and gave her a long deep kiss - forcing his tongue into her mouth which caused Natasha to moan. He could feel her smirk against his mouth which told him she was enjoying the kiss just as much as he was.

They didn't break away until the guy cleared his throat loudly. "Oh sorry man. My name is Chris. Her boyfriend" emphasizing the word boyfriend. He could tell the guy felt awkward and was intimidated by him.

The guy nodded his head and walked away without a second glance.

"Well, looks like someone has been practicing" Nat smirked at him. She was definitely impressed. After their first kiss, she didn't think Steve had it in him. Not saying it was a bad kiss but it was far too innocent for her liking. She didn't expect him to actually know how to french kiss and boy was he good with that tongue. It made her wonder what else he was good at.

Steve smirked back deciding to act again before he lost the confidence to. He leaned back in and kissed her softly at first then more urgently. Natasha returned the kiss with just as much enthusiasm - their tongues fighting for dominance. There was a spark in the their kiss that neither one of them ever felt before. Neither one of them wanting to pull away - only breaking the kiss this time to catch their breath. Lust filled their eyes. Neither one spoke - not really sure what the right thing to say was. Talking was the last thing on their minds.

Natasha was the first to break eye contact, looking over his shoulder.

"What is it?" He asked her, voice filled with concern - scared she was mad at him for initiating the kiss.

"Shhh" she continued to stare past him "Eric" she said quietly nodding in his direction.

Steve stood in his place, forcing himself not to turn around and make things look suspicious. Natasha put on a smile and pulled him close. "We need to make our move now" she whispered into his ear. "Grab my ass, so it looks like we're about to leave and fuck each other's brains out"

He smirked at her suggestion but did exactly what he was told. "Sounds tempting"

Natasha smirked at his flirtation. Must be the club atmosphere that has the captain so frisky. She had to admit - it was a turn on. She grabbed his hand and lead him toward where Eric was. She saw him head toward the back of the club and out the back door but when they were outside - there were four bodyguards anticipating their presence.

"It took you long enough" the man named Eric said. He was young, muscular, and was only a few inches shorter than Steve was. "I've been waiting for you two to make your move" he laughed as if he was taunting them.

"How do you know we were following you" Steve asked, keeping his voice leveled.

"Please Captain. I spotted you two from a mile away. I have eyes everywhere" Eric gestured to his men.

"Then you know why we are here" Natasha stared at him with hard eyes and a smirk. She loved fighting arrogant assholes.

Eric gave her a half smile and nodded his head. "Why of course I do" he took a step forward toward her.

Steve instinctively pushed Nat behind him. He looked at all the bodyguards who had their hands on their weapons ready to fire at any minute.

"You look worried Cap" Eric smirked at him.

Steve clenched his teeth with his fist balled at his side. He turned to look at Natasha, making sure she was ready to fight. When she gave him a nod of approval, he turned and charged at the first two bodyguards. "Go after Eric. I can handle these scrubs" he yelled at Natasha.

These men were highly trained bodyguards. Making the fight a bit more challenging than the normal fights he was used to. He ducked and blocked most of the punches, only getting hit a few times. He managed to knock down two of the bodyguards. Natasha seemed to have easily captured Eric, who was now laying on the ground unconsciously. Eric was a good fighter but the Black Widow was better.. He focused on the one man in front of him until he realized the other guard was charging toward Natasha. He knew she could handle herself but he still wanted to make sure she was safe. He ran toward the man after Natasha and tackled him. He had the man in a chokehold until he passed out.

Everything seemed to be going okay until he felt three bullets pierce his skin. Two in his chest and one in his arm. Normally, bullets didn't have much of an effect on him but for whatever reason these bullets had a different effect on him. He could hear Natasha scream his name but he couldn't say anything back. The pain was excruciating - running through his entire body. He collapsed on the ground, trying his best to stay awake. He caught a slight glimpse of Natasha taking down the man with her widow bites before she was by his side, holding him close to her.

"Steve, stay with me" there was a slight panic in her voice. She pulled out her phone and dialed SHIELD's emergency line. "I need back up NOW. I need the medical team here immediately"

As soon as she heard the confirmation from Shield that they were on their way, she hung up the phone. She looked down at Steve who was growing paler by the minute. "Stay with me Rogers. You do not get to die on me". Natasha was pissed, she knew Steve was hurt because he was trying to protect her. "You idiot. I could have handled that guy" she barked at him.

"I know" he managed to say with a small smile. Natasha could see it in his eyes that slowly slipping away. For once in her life, she actually felt fear. She's been in countless life or death situations yet this moment was the first time she's actually been scared. She felt a tear slip from her eyes.

It wasn't much longer until she heard the sounds of sirens headed their way. She took a breath of relief. "Just a little longer baby" she said softly and leaned down to give him a gentle kiss, savoring the moment just in case this was their last.

 _AN: Hey guys. This chapter was hard for me to write because I'm not used to writing action type chapters. Letting you guys know my next update might take a little longer... I'm experiencing writer's block ANDDDDD OITNB is now on and I've been binge watching :D Hope this chapter didn't disappoint_

 __


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

"He lost a lot of blood and his vitals are unstable. His healing powers aren't even kicking in" Banner said, pacing back in forth. Natasha forced herself not to roll her eyes. Banner had this thing where he likes to state the obvious.

He stopped in front of Steve's body and bent down to closely examine the bullet wound. Natasha could see Banner was trying to remain optimistic - like Steve, Bruce was a terrible liar and she was able to read him like a book. She on the other hand understood the severity of his injuries and didn't need anyone to try to keep her hopes high. She wasn't that type of person - she liked to keep a realistic mindset.

"What's wrong with him?" She asked straight forwardly.

Bruce looked up at her slightly before looking down at the tray that held the bullets that shot Steve. "I have to run some tests on his blood work and look into the components of these bullets" he said matter of factly. "You know" he said slowly. "It would be easier if he was in the hospital right now instead of the medical hall here at Avenger Towers… They are more qualified to -"

She shook her head stubbornly, knowing exactly where he was going with this. "No. He hates the hospital. Besides, you are smarter than any of those mediocre doctors. Just run your tests and find out why the stupid super soldier serum isn't working" her tone was a bit more harsh than she meant it. Her face softened a bit, letting Banner know that she didn't mean to be rude but she wasn't going to budge on this matter.

Banner nodded at her words, dropping the suggestion right away. It was a losing battle after all. He hurried, took a sample of Steve's blood and the bullets and went to the lab without another word.

Natasha sighed when Bruce left. She reached for Steve's hand and held it tight - scared that if she let go, she would lose him forever. Once again she was the reason for him being hospitalized. She closed her eyes, bowed her head, and prayed quietly.

"God, if you're listening. Please do whatever you can to save Steve. I know I'm the last person to be asking for favors but I just need you to pull through this one time for me" she paused slightly, forcing back the tears that were threatening to come "for him. I can't lose him"

Natasha picked her head up and looked back at Steve. "Only an old man like you could have me praying to a higher power" she chuckled quietly. She couldn't even remember the last time she prayed. She remembered growing up catholic but as soon as she joined the red room, she lost her faith along the journey. Besides, her ledger was far too red for any God to accept her into their kingdom. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, trying to imagine how different life would be if she never became the black widow. Suddenly she felt Steve's arm twitch. She opened her eyes, focusing her attention on him, hoping that her mind wasn't playing tricks on her. There it was again.

"Come on Steve. Open those blue eyes for me" she said quietly.

After a few minutes, his eyes flutter open causing Natasha to let out a big sigh of relief.

"Water" he managed to croak.

Natasha grabbed the cup on the table and handed it to him. He drank it, grateful to relieve his dry throat.

"Thank you" he closed his eyes shut for a bit before opening them up again. "God I feel like shit" he groaned.

Natasha laughed at him. Only Steve Rogers could find humor in a situation like this. "I'm going to go get Bruce so he can check on you" She started to get up to leave but Steve grabbed her hand, forcing her back.

"No I'm fine" he shook his head.

"You were hurt pretty badly. He needs to check on your wounds Steve" she tried to reason with him.

"I'm fine see -" he tried to sit up only to wince in pain. "God it feels like I got hit by a damn truck" he laid back down, hoping the pain would ease.

"Stop moving idiot. I'm going to go get Bruce" She walked toward the door then turned back "Don't do anything stupid. Or else I will make sure you feel double the pain" she glared at him.

Steve nodded his head knowing that she was not joking. _Things could be worse_ , he reminded himself. At least this time, she was actually by his side and not yelling at him for being reckless. He didn't regret his decision at all. Given the chance, he would do it all over again to make sure she was safe and more importantly alive.

His body was aching with an indescribable pain. He couldn't move without it feeling like a hundred knives were stabbing him in the chest and arm. Whatever the bullets were laced with, had definitely interfered with the super soldier serum. He tried not to put much more thought into - his head was swimming right now. Concussion probably but he didn't remember hitting his head. All he wanted to do was go back to sleep so the pain can go away but he forced himself to stay up.

He heard two sets of footsteps walking toward him.

"Steve. How are you feeling" Bruce approached him, examining his wounds.

"I've been better" Steve gave a half smile despite the pain he was experiencing.

Bruce continued to look at his charts and muttered some big scientific words that neither Natasha or Steve understood. Neither one asked him to explain - it would only probably confuse them more since Bruce wasn't exactly good at dumbing down things when he was in his zone. Finally, he put the clipboard down and looked at Steve with concern eyes.

"Steve, you're lucky to be alive right now" his voice was serious "The bullets they shot you with were specially made to work against the serum in your body. We were lucky to have been able to extract them as soon as we did"

"Then why isn't his body healing faster now that the bullets are out" Natasha interrupted, she didn't like wasting time. She needed answers now.

Bruce looked at Natasha then down at his clipboard.

"You don't know. Do you?" She could read that Bruce was trying to hide something. "Or are you not telling us something"

"I don't know why his body isn't healing the way it should be but it looks like whatever Hydra is working is bigger than we expected." he shook his head and looked back down at the charts.

Natasha paced back and forth in the room. She did this a few times before stopping by Steve's bed and taking a moment to see his reaction to the news. His face was unreadable.

"Steve. Are you okay?"

Her words seem to snap him out of his trance. "I'm sorry. I was just trying to figure out what Hydra's next move is." He sighed in exasperation "I really thought we took care of Hydra...Or at least the real threatening part of Hydra". _Cut off one head, two more shall take it's place._ He looked at Bruce who was mixing chemicals together and filling a syringe. "What are you doing Bruce?"

Bruce walked over slowly with the syringe in his head. "I was looking over the lab results and found a solution to our problem. I can't believe I missed this" he mumbled before reaching over to stick the concoction into Steve's neck without warning.

Steve immediately flinched in pain. Whatever the scientist shot him up with burned like hell but after a few minutes he could feel relief fill his entire body. He moved his arms and tried to sit up - ignoring all of Nat's glares, and felt that he was feeling much better. "Looks like my body is starting to heal itself again. Thanks Doc"

* * *

After running a few more tests, Steve was released and able to go back to his floor to rest. With the help of Natasha, they managed to get into the elevator with ease - not that he was having troubles walking or anything, Natasha just wanted to make sure he was okay. He was about to press the button for his floor but Nat smacked his hand away and pressed her floor instead. She noticed the look of confusion on his face.

"You are staying with me" she said as if it were common sense.

"I can take care of -" he began to protest but was cut off.

"Yourself? If you were able to take care of YOURSELF, we wouldn't be in this mess right now" she rolled her eyes.

Steve couldn't help but smile at her behavior. This was the side of her that only he got to see and it was rare. "Yes Ma'am"

When the elevator stopped at her floor, he punched in her code to get in the door. Before he even had a chance to go into the kitchen, she was practically dragging him to the bathroom.

"Take a shower" she laid a fresh pair of his boxers on the sink before turning to leave. "Unless you need some assistance" she smirked and an undeniable blush appeared on his face.

"I think I can handle it from here" he said clearing his throat. She closed the door behind her, leaving him to get clean.

He turned the shower on, making sure the hot water was turned on the way up before stripping and hopping in. The hot water felt amazing against his sore muscles. Usually Steve took relatively quick showers but today he was too consumed by his thoughts to be time efficient. At first he was thinking about Hydra but eventually his thoughts drifted to the night Natasha and him shared the passionate kiss. He had felt the change in their relationship the night they had a talk about their views on love and relationships but the kiss at the club had given him confirmation. He had serious feelings for the one and only Natasha Romanoff and it scared the shit out of him. There hadn't been much time for them to address the situation due to his injuries so he was determined to have that conversation with her after he was done with his shower. He turned off the water and grabbed the towel hanging on the hook to dry off. Thankfully he and Nat had their fair share of sleepovers or else he wouldn't have had any clothes to wear other than his birthday suit. He tossed on his boxer briefs and opened the door to see Nat sitting on her bed with a sandwich in front of her.

"Is that for me" Steve immediately eyeballing the huge sandwich of deliciousness.

"I figured I would be a nice host" she shrugged

"Well don't mind if I do" he reached for the sandwich, devouring it in only a few bite. "That was the best sandwich ever" he moaned in delight.

"I'll be sure to let all the girls know that the way to Captain America's heart is through his stomach" she teased him.

He laughed at her comment and nodded his head in agreement. He did love food. He smiled at her softly, looking into those beautiful green eyes.

"Nat"

"Hm"

"We need to talk" he said quietly. He had to tread lightly, making sure that he wasn't blindsiding her.

"About what?" she raised her eyebrow, his sudden seriousness confusing her.

"The night at the club" he said slowly. "We kissed"

"Yes we did. You've been practicing, Good job old man" she joked but got serious once she realized he wasn't laughing with her.

"We kissed" he emphasized once again.

At once she realized the kind of talk they were about to have and it was one she didn't want to have. "It was a mission Rogers" she shrugged "We've kissed before"

"We have kissed before but we never kissed like THAT before" he could see that Natasha was trying to brush off the talk and decided to just be straight forward with her rather than easing into it. He didn't know why he thought that would work when he knew she wasn't the type to ease into anything. "What I'm trying to say is" he paused slightly "What are we?"

The intensity of his eyes made her look away. Honestly, she's harbored feelings for Steve since the DC trip but she never acted on them simply because he was too good for her. He saw things as black and white whereas she was stuck somewhere between the shades of grey. How can two people who were so different be in a relationship? It was impossible.

"We're friends Steve" she finally said still avoiding his glance. She got off the couch, trying to put a bit of distance between the two of them.

"Do you mean that" he said softly, moving toward her.

"Come on Steve" she tried to smirk "you and me" she pointed to him and herself "will never work".

"And why not?" he grabbed her waist and tilted her face to look him in the eyes.

"Because we are two different people. Besides, why do you want to be with me anyways? You're CAPTAIN AMERICA, you can be with whoever you want. Why me?" she smirked, trying to lighten the mood.

Even though she was trying to make light of the situation, he could tell by the look in her eyes that she wanted an honest answer from him which he was going to give her.

"Because you're Natasha Romanoff"

"Exactly why we can't be together." she said flatly.

"Would you just shut up for one second and hear me out" he pleaded.

She was shocked by his sudden outburst - surprisingly hearing him take charge turned her on. He took a deep breath before continuing, looking her straight in the eyes as he spoke.

"I started having feelings for you during our mission in DC. I didn't know it at the time, or maybe I did but was just too scared to admit it. I don't know" He shrugged "The point is - ever since then I've been pushing those feelings away because I was scared - scared that I wasn't good enough for you."

He could see the skepticism in her eyes but she seemed to stay silent, waiting for him to continue.

"My feelings for you scares me Nat. Not because I don't trust you or anything like that but because I've never felt anything more real. I've always been a man lost in time but somehow you always seem to keep me grounded and remind me of the present. I don't feel so lost anymore because of you"

She could hear the vulnerability in his voice and it was almost enough for her to just grab his face and kiss him but she forced herself to stay put.

"But it still doesn't mean we're meant to be" she said quietly. As much as she wanted to believe his words, she couldn't help but have some doubt. He took a minute to try to put together the right words, knowing that if he said something wrong she would be gone forever.

"Remember that night I told you I had feelings for a girl who was unavailable? I was talking about you. You close yourself off from any kind of love because you are scared to let anyone in. You're scared to admit that you've already let me in. You don't realize how bad I want - no NEED you in my life. So yeah, you're probably right. I probably could have any girl I wanted but the only girl I want is unavailable to me"

"But why me" her voice stern - no longer looking him in the eyes. She wasn't used to feeling like this. Part of her didn't want to be so open and vulnerable yet the other part of her wanted to take the leap of faith and experience true happiness. It was all too confusing

He shook his head. "After all I've just said, you still don't see it" he chuckled softly, grabbing her hands. "Because you're my best friend. I've learned to love every part of you that you've allowed me to see. I love the Black widow side of you - the way you're so determined and focused during the mission and the way you kick ass each and everytime. I love the soft side of you. The side I'm pretty sure only I have witnessed. You know the "1 in the morning" Natasha that has these intense heart to hearts with me and loves to cuddle and hold on tight to me. Then there's the Natasha that is a big kid at heart, who plays pranks on me and begs me to go to the grocery store at any time of the day to get something to satisfy your sweet tooth." He could see a little smile form on her face and it made him smile more. "I love when you smirk and kink your eyebrow when you're trying to be cute. I just - I love everything about you. You're not the monster you try and force yourself to believe. You and I both know that. I won't allow you to slip away from me - not again" he whispers the last part - looking deep in her eyes and slowly leaning in. "And I'm going to kiss you right now"

She tried to tell herself to stop it before they crossed a line they couldn't come back from but she found herself leaning in too. He kissed her, gently at first as if he were testing the grounds to make sure she was okay with it. When he didn't feel her pull away, he kissed her more urgently - putting all he had into this kiss - making sure to show her that he meant everything he was saying. He had her against the wall. Their tongues dancing together in harmony. It was a few minutes before both had to pull away, gasping for air.

"I recall in DC you wanted a friend Rogers" she said with a smirk on her face while trying to catch her breath.

"I guess you were right Romanoff… I was in the wrong business" he smiled leaning back in for a kiss.

 _AN: So I just finished OITNB so I'm back to writing. Anyways, I felt like it was time to ignite this slow burn a little bit. I absolutely love this couple because it is a slow burn (referencing the movies) which I'm hoping that with all the chemistry and character development the Russo brothers don't let me down and finally put these two together in the upcoming movies. Let me know how this story is going. I love reading these reviews, so keep them coming_


	9. Chapter 9

Steve opened his eyes slowly, and saw that Natasha was still sound asleep in his arms. He had expected to wake up alone because he thought she was going to avoid last night's events but was relieved to see that she still here - with him. A huge smile crept across his face when reality set in and he realized that this meant she cared for him as much as he did for her. He slowly removed his arms, careful not to wake her up and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. When he was done, he walked quietly to the kitchen and started to pull ingredients from the fridge and pantry. He found enough ingredients to make french toast, eggs, and bacon. Unlike Nat, he was actually a good cook. Although he had a feeling that Natasha actually knew how to cook but chose not to. He had caught her watching the food channel on many occasions and came to the conclusion that she had to have learned something.

"What are you doing" Natasha stood, leaning by the door with a smirk on her face. Damn her stealthy spy skills, he didn't even hear her. _There goes breakfast in bed,_ he thought to himself.

"I'm cooking breakfast for us" he flashed her a quick smile before turning his attention back to the food in the skillet. "I hope you like french toast". Steve already knew Natasha loved French toast, sunny side eggs, and extra crispy bacon.

She walked slowly over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him from behind. She kissed his back lightly. They stood there in comfortable silence before she pulled away and started on the coffee. He set the plates on the table and she filled their coffees cups. She liked her coffee black with a dash of cinnamon. Steve on the other hand liked his coffee on the sweeter side, milk and sugar.

"Not half bad Rogers" she looked at the set up and sat down across from him. She normally rarely ever had an appetite for breakfast but the smell of the food was enough to make stomach growl. She looked at him and noticed a glow on his face. He was beaming with happiness and it gave her butterflies. She's never experienced something like this before and it amazed her that she could be the cause of such joy. This was a weird situation for her. She's spent years of being desensitized - never letting emotions take over. This was going to have to be a learning process - allowing herself to feel. So far so good - at least she was dealing with it rather than ignoring it. For the first time in her life she was going to be selfish and put her happiness first.

She took a bite of the french toast and fell in love immediately. It was crispy on the outside, yet nice and soft on the inside. The eggs were just right and the bacon's crispiness was to die for.

"Do you like it?" he asked her, taking his last bite.

"This is amazing. I never knew you could cook"

"You always insisted on getting take out" he teased causing her to roll her eyes.

"In my defense, take out is so much more convenient especially after long missions. Anyways, we have to train the new recruits today"

Steve nodded almost forgetting about the new members they were getting. Work was the last thing on his mind especially after last night.

"How are you feeling" Natasha looked at him with concern. He just got released yesterday and she didn't want him exerting too much energy if he wasn't ready. "I could train them myself. It's only the first day. Mostly likely going to be introductions anyways"

"I feel great. It's like I was never hurt to begin with. Whatever Bruce did, did the trick". He began to protest.

Natasha eyed him, observing him carefully. He did seem fine - all his bruises were practically nonexistent. "Fine" she figured there was no point in forcing him to rest anyways. Steve Rogers did what he wanted to do which was something they actually had in common. Despite being so drastically different in other ways, they both were stubborn and hardheaded. Workaholics to say the least.

He picked up the plates and went to the sink to wash all of the dishes. When he was done, he walked back over to Nat and kissed her deeply. He could never get enough of this.

"I like this" he whispered when they pulled apart.

"Like what?" Nat pulled him back down for another kiss.

"Us"

Natasha pulled away slightly, looking him in the eyes. She saw nothing but affection and honesty behind those blue eyes. She gave him a small smile. "I like this too" she gave him a quick peck before pulling away from him completely - knowing that if they continued this, they would be late for work. "I think we should keep this between us for now"

"Why?" Steve looked at her in confusion. He finally got the girl, the last thing he wanted to do was keep her from the world like he was ashamed of her or something.

"Because it's nobody's business but our own" she shrugged. She was a private person and didn't like the idea of other people knowing their business. "Besides, just in case this thing crashes and burns. It wouldn't make things weird for the other avengers" she said casually.

"It's going to work" Steve pulled her by the waist toward his body.

"How do you know that for sure?" she said quietly.

"Because something this real is hard to come by. But I'm okay with keeping this between us for now. As long as you're mine" his voice was confident and sure. He wasn't going to let anything come in between them.

She nodded her head at his words. It was true. The feelings she had were strong and didn't happen overnight. It took years for them to build the foundation they have. It was a slow burn, raw and pure. "Let's get ready Captain" she kinked her eyebrow at him.

* * *

"Look around you. Everyone you see in this room right now is your lifeline" Steve's voice boomed through the training room. "You have to learn to not only watch your own back but watch each other's backs. Being an avenger is more than just fighting evil - it's about being a part of the greater good. Saving lives while remaining humble and grounded. We're going to teach you how to fight, to think strategically, and most importantly, communicate effectively. Not one avenger is more important than other. We work together"

Natasha stood next to Steve who was currently in Captain America mode, observing the new avengers. They were young and it was going to take a lot of work but there was definitely potential in this group - all of them bringing something different to the team. One of the new recruits in particular caught her eye. Her name was Wanda - some referred to her as Scarlett Witch. There was a certain edge to her which reminded Nat of herself. More importantly, her powers were going to be a huge asset to the team when she learns to control it. The girl seemed to be on the reserved side - a loner, keeping to herself rather than openly mingling with the others.

"I'm impressed by the new recruits"

"Me too" Steve nodded his head as he scanned the room. He watched the new members practice hand to hand combat. "Their fighting skills could use work though. They can't always rely on their powers."

With that said, Natasha headed over to the group of avengers and began to teach them how to properly fight. "You bigger built people need to learn how to be aware of your surroundings. Size doesn't guarantee that you will win a fight. Speed will be a key factor for you." She could see that most of the meatballs on the team didn't take her words seriously so she picked a random person to be a victim of her example.

She walked up to a tall, muscular guy named Scott and got into fighting position.

"I'm not going to fight you. You're a girl" he shook his head with his arms crossed.

Natasha simply smirked and charged at him. She threw a few punches before performing her signature leg wrap move and brought him to the ground in less than a minute.

"Lesson number one. Never underestimate your opponent" she walked away from the kid, leaving him to get up by himself. She could see the fear starting to spread through the group. She was used to being underestimated - it was part of her charm as the black widow.

She moved toward the smaller members and gave them her signature smirk. She could tell that they were intimidated by her - as they should be.

"As for you smaller built people, don't let your small size discourage you. As you all can see, I'm not big at all but I use that to my advantage" she could see the growing confusion growing on their faces. "Use your size to your advantage. Being small gives you the opportunity to be fast. People will look at you and underestimate your ability which is good because you'll be able to use the element of surprise."

Steve stood in the corner and couldn't help but get turned on by Nat's lesson. The way her body looked in that catsuit was enough but seeing her body move in that skin tight suit made it almost unbearable for him. This was a first for him - Steve Rogers never mixed business with pleasure, ever. Yet in this moment, he couldn't seem to control himself - how he did before was beyond him. It was torture having to pretend to only be friends with her when all he wanted to do was rip off her clothes. He caught a smirk from her and knew that she knew he was lusting for her. Of course, he's never actually had sex but he was still a man and his hormones were racing at the speed of light at the moment. He glanced at the clock and sighed slightly. Just a few more minutes to go before he could kiss her again.

He turned his attention back to the class - forcing himself to keep his thoughts professional. They were supposed to keep their relationship a secret - if he continued to give her heart eyes, people would eventually suspect something was up between the two of them. He could hear footsteps behind him, he turned and saw Sharon standing next to him smiling.

"Hey Cap" she said with a smile. "How are the new recruits"

"They are a work in progress but there's a lot of potential here. How have you been?" he returned the smile. The last time he spoke to her, he had politely declined her offer to go on a date. It was a relief things weren't at all awkward between them right now.

"I've been working" she shrugged "Nothing fun… Just so you know, my offer still stands"

Steve turned and looked at her with a smile, knowing exactly she was referring to. Had it been a few months ago, he might've actually considered it but things were different now. He wasn't willing to give up what he had.

"I'll keep that in mind" he smiled politely at her. He wanted to tell her he was seeing someone but news in Avenger towers always traveled fast and he didn't want to deal with the interrogation of the others. "Looks like class is over. I'll see you around"

Sharon nodded her head and gave him a quick hug before turning to leave. He watched her go before turning around to look for a certain red head but realized she was nowhere in sight.

"Hey Wanda. Did you know where Natasha went?"

"She just left"

 _Odd_. Maybe she wasn't feeling well or wanted to shower. He thanked Wanda before making his way to her floor - hoping to find her there. He'll stop by the cafeteria to grab some white chocolate covered strawberries, her favorite.


	10. Chapter 10

She never thought she would ever see the day that she, Natasha Romanoff, was jealous. She wasn't a jealous person - even when she was casually dating. If she saw something she didn't like or the guy starts acting up, she would just drop them like a bad  
habit - no feelings hurt. After all, she didn't believe human beings were monogamous creatures. Besides, she didn't really care for them. It was more of a friends with benefits type situation - a way to scratch the itch so to speak. However, Steve  
was different from every other guy she had ever encountered. He wasn't the type of man who was a player. The fact that he was so selective in the dating department proved that. Still, seeing him hug that agent made her blood boil and she didn't understand  
why.

It could have been anyone else but it just so happened to be the one girl that Steve almost considered going on a date with and that didn't sit well with her. To make matters worse, she even pushed him to go on a date with Sharon even after he didn't  
want to. The irony was real. She heard her door open and him calling for her but she chose to ignore it. She wasn't in the mood to deal with any of it right now.

"Natasha?" he appeared at the door, holding a box in his hand. "There you are. I got you these" he walked toward her and handed her the box. The smile on his face told her that he was completely oblivious to the situation. Typical man.

"Thanks." she said flatly, taking the box out of his hand and setting it on the table next to her bed - not bothering to even look at it.

Steve could tell something was wrong and instantly furrowed his eyebrows in concern.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sitting down next to her.

"Nothing. I'm just tired" she put on her fake smile, hoping he would believe it but knew there was a slim chance he would. She didn't want to talk about her emotions anymore. One time a day was her limit and he already cashed out on that this morning.

"I can tell you're lying" he said with a serious face. "Seriously babe. What's wrong" he put his arm around her.

"I saw you talking to Agent Carter" she said nonchalantly.

"She asked me about the recruits" it took him a few seconds to piece everything together "Wait, are you jealous?"

"In your dreams" she scoffed and turned away. "I told you I was tired"

A smirk grew on his face. "You're jealous" he couldn't help but laugh and got a glare from her. "I'm sorry but it's kinda cute seeing you a shade of green. Who would have thought the Black widow got jealous" he teased hoping to lighten her mood but instead  
got a hard jab to the ribs.

"I'm not jealous" she said stubbornly "but did it have to be her out of all the women in the building." she resisted the pout that was threatening to come out. Deep down, she knew she was overreacting but that didn't matter at the moment. There was a  
girl who was treading in her territory and she didn't like it one bit. "You know, I could snap her neck. It wouldn't even be painful. I'll make sure to make it fast." she said with a devilish grin.

He shook his head and smiled at her. "You have nothing to worry about" he leaned in and kissed her.

At first she didn't kiss him back, trying to make a point but as soon as she felt his tongue practically begging to taste her, she couldn't resist. One thing lead to another and Steve was on top of her, handing snaking up her took all of her  
to pull away and stop him.

"Wait" she said in between breaths.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go too far" he retreated right away, feeling almost embarrassed for letting himself go too far. He didn't want to pressure to pressure her to do anything she wasn't ready for.

"No - it's not that. I want to do this" she paused slightly, grabbing his face in her hands to let him know that he wasn't doing anything wrong when she noticed the scared look on his face. "I just think we should take this slow. I don't want to rush  
anything" she said quietly. She was mentally kicking herself right now. Since when did the Black widow become so soft and girly. Sex was sex. Nothing she was new to but with Steve it was different. He's never been that intimate with a woman before  
and she knew that if they were to do it, it would be more than just sex. She wanted it to be special, something memorable for the two of them - especially since there was no going back to being just friends if they do cross that line. Steve may be  
more confident in them but she still had some reservations, not because she wanted anything wrong to happen. She just wanted them to be sure.

He looked her in the eyes and nodded his head. "Of course. Take all the time you need" he leaned down kissing her deeply. "I'm not going anywhere"

Natasha smiled at his words knowing that they were true. Of course he wasn't going anywhere. "Are you sure? Because your body is telling me otherwise" she smirked, teasing him.

Steve instantly got red faced realizing that his boner was against her legs. "I'm sorry" He instantly got off of her and reached over to her night stand and grabbed her surprise. "I almost forgot I got you these"

Natasha opened the box and her eyes automatically lit up. White chocolate covered strawberries were her weakness. "You're officially forgiven" she happily grabbed a strawberry and took a bite, savoring the sweet taste.

"I thought I was already forgiven when my tongue was in your mouth" he laughed when she punched him lightly.

He grabbed another strawberry out of the box and took a bite himself. He could understand why she loved them so much. It was delicious. Before he knew it, she seductively put another strawberry in front of his face.

"You know, chocolate covered strawberries are great sex food" she said in her flirtatious voice.

She urged him to take a bite and once he did, she moved in for a kiss. The juices of the strawberry bursting in their mouths. "Yum" she said teasingly when she pulled away.

He could feel himself growing more and more restricted in his pants. "Okay, it's time for me to take a cold shower" he said hopping off the bed.

"Want me to join" she kinked her eyebrow at him, with a teasing smile on her face.

God - Natasha Romanoff was the biggest tease. He shook his head and closed the door behind him. She laughed as she watched him stumble into the bathroom. It was a good feeling to know that he was attracted to her just as much as she was to him. If he  
thought he wanted her bad now just wait til she decided that she wanted to have sex. He hasn't seen anything yet.

 _AN: Hey guys, thanks for all the wonderful reviews. Just wanted to let you guys know I'm going to be on vacation soon so I don't know how frequent my updates will be but I'll definitely try to keep writing as much as I can._


	11. Chapter 11

Steve? Are you crying" Natasha tried to contain her laughter but failed miserably doing so. It was movie night and she practically forced him to watch the notebook with her which was secretly one of her favorite movies of all times. At first he protested  
because it wasn't on his list but eventually gave up and agreed.

"No" he cleared his throat and wiped his eyes "I just got something in my eye".

"Whatever you say big baby" she teased, finding it completely adorable that a big guy like Steve was crying because of a chick flick. Completely adorable.

"Okay, maybe I teared up a little but come on Nat, they died together. After all that they been through. He built a house for HER" Steve tried to defend himself. He had to admit that despite his reservations, the movie was good. Steve was always  
a sucker for love.

Natasha smiled at him and shook her head. She leaned in to give him a small kiss before leaning back into the spot in the couch. These past few weeks of being with him was changing her. She could feel it. A few months ago if you would have told her that  
she would be dating Captain America, she would have laughed in your face but now she couldn't imagine it any other way. Things just felt right between them. The fact that she could feel this way toward someone was exhilarating and terrifying all at  
the same time.

Steve looked at his beautiful girlfriend with complete admiration. He loved these private moments he got to share with her - moments he wished he could relive forever. Sometimes he wished that they could go public with their relationship but he knew that  
Natasha wasn't comfortable with that yet so he respected her wishes. He wasn't going to rush her into anything she wasn't ready for.

"What" Natasha said softly when she noticed he was looking at her with a weird look on his face.

"I'm just happy, that's all." I love you was what he really wanted to say but decided it was too soon. The last thing he wanted was to scare her away when he finally got her.

The look he was giving her sent butterflies through her stomach. She crawled into his arms and laid her head on his chest. She wanted to say something as sweet as him to let him know that she cared about him too but she was never good with expressing  
her feelings. "I'm sorry I'm not very good at this whole feelings thing." She whispered quietly.

"Hey" he tilted her head so she was facing him "I didn't say it because I wanted to hear it back. I mean it" he looked deep into her eyes before kissing her gently on the lips.

He started to pull away slowly but Natasha wanted more. She pulled him back in kissing him deep. This was her way of letting him know that she felt the same way as he did. Where words failed, her actions spoke. She pushed him down on the couch and got  
on top of him slowly - almost teasingly. Her hands roamed over his bare chest, outlining his define muscles. She was extremely thankful that Steve loved to only be in his boxer briefs when he was home because it made times like this easier for her  
to appreciate his perfectly built body. She felt his hands instinctively grabbing her ass and moaned in pleasure. Their tongues were fighting for dominance, neither one wanting to back down. It didn't take long for Steve to flip her over so he was  
on top and in control which turned on Natasha even more. Ever since being in a relationship, she had learned that Steve wasn't as innocent as he led on. Even with the lack of experience, he was a quick learner.

He quickly removed her shirt and was surprised when he found out that she wasn't wearing a bra. The look on his face caused Natasha to smirk.

"Never got this far huh?" She teased, seeing how nervous he was yet so enticed by the sight in front of him.

"Not exactly" he chuckled nervously. It made him wonder if she had planned their night to end this way - not that he was complaining. He just didn't want to disappoint her with his lack of experience in the sex department.

She grabbed his hands and placed them on her chest - eyes never leaving his. "Show me how bad you want me Steve." Her voice was seductive.

He nodded, staring right at her chest with lust filled eyes. He's never actually seen breasts before but hers had to be God's gift to men. So perfectly shaped and delicate that he was afraid to ruin them. His hands were gently cupped around them, rubbing  
her nipples ever so slightly before Natasha pressed them harder - showing him that there was no need to be gentle.

"Don't worry baby. I'm not going to break"

Her words seem to trigger a fire within him, causing him to act more aggressively. He kissed her neck and left love bites trailing all the way down to her collarbone. It wasn't long before he hungrily kissed her breasts. The sounds of her moans were music  
to his ears, letting him know that she wanted him just as bad as he wanted her. As his kissing trailed lower south, Natasha's heart started to race. The thought of his mouth kissing her intimate area was enough to push her to the edge. Not only that,  
she could feel his hard against her leg which only made her want him more.

Before Steve could take off her pants, the door suddenly swung open catching them both off guard.

"Hey Nat! What are you- Oh my god" Clint stopped in his tracks. He couldn't believe his eyes right now. He was too stunned to even form words. He rubbed his eyes just to make sure, he wasn't seeing things. After all, he did take a few shots  
before coming over.

"Clint what are you doing here?" Natasha hurried, grabbed her shirt and quickly put it on.

"The question is what are YOU doing." Clint said when he finally realized that this was real. "And YOU." he turned and looked at Steve who was covering his lower half with the couch pillow.

"None of your business." Natasha hissed at her best friend. Out of all the times for him to barge in, it had to be the one time that she was about to have sex. Clint always did find some way to cock block her.

Clint stood crossing his arms over his chest. "I can't believe you are sleeping with Cap-"

"Was about to" she cut him off in frustration. "Why are you still here Barton?"

Clint stood in front there staring at Natasha with hard eyes. "Nat. Can we talk privately?" He said seriously.

She saw the seriousness in Clint's eyes and sighed before nodding her head - whatever it was had to be important if he was looking at her like that. She turned to Steve and noticed an unreadable expression but didn't want to ask - whatever it was she  
would have to deal with it have this talk. One problem at a time. "I'll meet you in bed in a little okay?" She squeezed his hand softly before following Clint to the hallway, closing the door on her way out just incase the conversation went  
south.

"So you and Cap huh?" He looked at her with hard eyes.

"What did you want to talk about Barton." she said getting to the point. She wasn't in the mood to play games right now. "Whatever you got to say, spit it out"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know I needed your stamp of approval." She couldn't help but roll her eyes at him.

"You don't" Clint sighed looking down. "I just thought we were closer than that"

There was an underline of sadness in his voice which confused Natasha. She walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder. "What's going on Clint?" There was a brief silence before he looked back at her.

"Are you happy?" He finally said, keeping his voice low.

"I am happy" She answered and as soon as she did she noticed his face fell slightly. The truth was she knew Clint had feelings for her ever since they met back in budapest. In the past, he had been open with her about his feelings for her but  
accepted that she didn't reciprocate those emotions. "I'm sorry" she said sympathetically before looking down.

"Why him?"

"It just happened" she shrugged. "There's just something about Steve that makes me feel again. I thought I knew what I wanted out of life but he came in a made me question everything I thought I wanted."

Clint stood there soaking in her words, nodding his head in acceptance. The only thing he ever wanted for Natasha was for her to be happy even if it meant it wasn't with him. "Does he know about J-"

"No he doesn't." Natasha cuts him off.

"You're going to have to tell him eventually"

"I know. I'm just not ready to have that conversation yet." There was so much that Steve didn't know about her, things she has been trying so hard to desperately keep in the past. Deep down, it was inevitable that the skeletons in her closet  
would come out but right now she just wanted to enjoy the moment before her past ruins it.

"Okay"

"Thank you." She smiled softly at him. She could see how hard it was for him to be so understanding and accepting of the situation. Not every man had the strength to do what he was doing which only made her appreciate and love him more. Natasha  
knew that if it came down to it, she would always be able to count on Clint to be there for her. She pulled him in for a hug and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah yeah" he said jokingly when they pulled apart. "You should get back to lover boy." He gave her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes before turning and walking away. She watched him leave before deciding to go back inside.

 _AN: it didn't let me edit the chapter's title :/ obviously this is chapter 11 not 12. Anyways, officially on vacation but i will try to write as much as possible. Thank you guys for all the support_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

Natasha closed the front door quietly, making her way to her room where her boyfriend awaited her. She pushed her bedroom door open with a smile but that quickly faded when she sees Steve leaning against the headboard with his signature brooding face.

"Hey Broody" she said softly before getting into bed next to him. "What are you thinking about?" He remained quiet, only briefly glancing at her before looking away which made her worry.. "What's wrong baby?" She whispered, touching his arm lightly. Everything  
was going great before she stepped out to talk to Clint which meant that whatever was concerning Steve involved her best friend.

"I don't want to step on anyone's toes" he finally said, looking her straight in the eyes.

"What are you talking about?" She scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion. "You can't be talking about Clint… Are you?" She looked at him carefully, noticing him tense a bit at the mention of the archer's name.

"I see the way he looks at you" his voice was neutral but Natasha could tell he was trying to cover up the hurt he was feeling. . "And you walked out with him without hesitation. I mean - I always thought you two had a thing." His words slowly trailed  
off but Natasha cut him off before he rambled on.

"Stop" she said firmly. "You're overthinking things. Nothing is going on between me and Clint. He's like a brother to me." She could tell by the look on his face that he was conflicted with mixed emotions. She couldn't exactly fault him for having insecurities  
when a few days ago she was feeling the same way about Agent 13. "Steve" she said firmly, trying to get him to snap out of his funk but he didn't look up at her. Instead of wasting her time talking things out, she decided to do something about  
it. She grabbed his face and gave him a deep, long kiss. At first he hesitated but eventually he returned the kiss with equal passion. When they pulled apart, he leaned his forehead against hers.

"I'm sorry" he whispered.

"Stop it." She smiled at him teasingly. "As much as I find the brood face adorable, I find your smile to be so much more sexy." She laid her head on his chest. She could hear him laugh at her teasing and felt a sense of relief knowing that he was no longer  
overthinking their situation. "You know… I would consider yourself lucky"

"Oh yeah?" He wrapped his arms around her tighter.

"This is so unlike me" she said, looking up at him slightly.

"That's true" he said with a big smile on his face. "You're still here – surprisingly." He chuckled as he said it, teasing her back.

"It's never too late for me to start running for the hills Rogers" She kinked her eyebrow and wore the smirk he loved so much. As scared as she was of their relationship, the idea of being without him was much more frightening. It amazed her how much  
times have changed things – changed her. She wasn't as rough around the edges anymore – or at least she wasn't with Steve. It felt good to be able to let her guard down – it wasn't as terrifying as she once imagined.

"You're not going anywhere" his voice was full of confidence once again as he gave her a soft kiss on her forehead.

"What makes you so sure?" She questioned, playing devil's advocate. She wasn't planning on running from this – from him but she loved hearing him elaborate on his feelings for her.

"Because you don't have any better offers" he shrugged nonchalantly with a smirk on his face.

She punched him lightly on the chest as he laughed at her. She settled back his arms, holding on to him – wanting this moment to last forever. She was happy with Steve – truly happy for the first time in her life. Yet, there was still an ache in her soul  
the red room left her.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked quietly, breaking her train of thought. Like Natasha, he knew her like the back of his hand and it doesn't surprise her. Steve was an observant man. He noticed the littlest of details. Besides, it would be insulting  
if at this point they didn't know each other well, considering they were partners for the past couple of years.

"Are you sure you want this?"

"Why wouldn't I?" He asked with pure curiosity.

"I can't give you want you want." She said flatly.

"And what do I want?"

"After the I graduated from the red room" she paused for a brief second, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath before continuing. "They made sure that there wasn't anything that would make us weak." She looked at Steve who wore a look of concern on  
his face, listening attentively to her. "Steve I can't give you a family"

She could see Steve's concern eyes soften by her revelation so she looked away. The last thing she wanted was pity from anyone – especially him. "I don't need any pity. The red room did what they had to, to build the perfect black widow." She said dryly.  
Her defense mechanism was up. She's never spoken about her past with the red room for a reason. Despite all the bad things she had to do or go through because of them, she wouldn't be where she was today. Things could have turned out a lot worse.

"I don't pity you Nat." He looked at her right in the eyes when he said it. "And I'm always honest" he smiled at her softly. "I just want to show you there's more to life than what you thought."

Natasha listened to his words and nodded absentmindedly. She knew that Steve would never make her feel small because of her past. It wasn't in his character. When they first met, he treated her with the utmost respect as if she were a normal person and  
not the black widow despite already reading her file. It was a part of his charm being able to accept people for who they were instead of judging them for their past. "Thank you" she whispered back to him, giving his chest a gentle kiss before closing  
her eyes and falling asleep.

It was Sunday morning and Natasha decided to wake up early and cook breakfast for Steve. He was always catering to her needs and she wanted to return the favor for once. Luckily for her there was a tub of bisquick so she could whip up some pancakes for  
him. All she needed was to add water and shake it - no way she could mess this up. As she searched the fridge for more food ingredients to complete her meal, her front door bursted open.

"RED! I need to talk to you" Tony Stark stomped his way to where she was, not even bothering to greet her. "Is it true you and Capsicle are officially bumping nasty?"

"News travels fast" she said annoyed that Tony probably woke up Steve with how obnoxiously loud he was being. It was only a matter of time before the rest of the team found out about them so it didn't surprise her at all that Tony was barging in on her  
floor for information about her personal life. The fact that she never exposed any details about her life outside of work made it that much more appealing to know.

"It was supposed to be me and you" Tony replied sadly with a pout on his face.

"Get in line, Stark. I had dibs first" Clint yelled as he walked in the door.

"Negative. It's all about Falcon baby, all day" Sam followed not too long after.

Natasha rolled her eyes in annoyance. There was no surprise that the boys were attracted to her. "Boys" she mutter under her breath as she continued to focus her attention on cooking. She could hear footsteps from the bedroom and knew that there was only  
a few minutes til he came out.

As if right on cue, Steve appeared in the kitchen, sleep still evident on his face. He walked over to Natasha and gave her a kiss. "Good morning baby"

"Good morning sleepyhead." She took a quick glance at him, eyeing him up and down. He was always so cute in the morning with his hair untamed. "I'm making us breakfast" she stressed the us making sure the other boys understood they were intruding on their  
personal time.

"Hey guys" Steve looked around the room. "Why is everyone here?" The look of confusion plastered on his face.

"We came to investigate" Tony was the first to reply.

"Investigate what?"

"You and Red. And don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about."

Steve shook his head and laughed at his friend. It was only a matter of time before everyone found out. He walked over to Natasha and wrapped his arms around her waist and smiled proudly at his girl. He's been wanting to do this since they finally decided  
to take things to the next level. "Cat's out of the bag huh"

"Apparently." She said unamused. She was still annoyed that her surprise breakfast in bed turned into a circus show. Clint and Sam had taken over her living room with the sports channel and Tony was still in the kitchen trying to get answers. "The boys  
here are really intrigued by our relationship."

"We're not!" Yelled Clint and Sam in unison.

"But I am" Tony crossed his arms, looking at the couple. "So give me the rundown" his eyes landed on the soldier knowing it was much more easier to obtain information from him than the spy.

Steve was unable to wipe the grin on his face. "Not much to explain" he said with a shrug.

"Oh come on. At least tell me if she's good in bed. Must be real kinky huh?"

"She's amazing" he said with a smirk and winked at Natasha. He knew that there was no way Tony would drop the subject so he might as well have fun with it.

"As a matter of fact" her voice got low and seductive "before we were rudely interrupted, I was going to give the soldier another test drive." Natasha was enjoying this side of Steve. She had to take ownership of the more fun side of him because before  
her, he was a complete stiff. He took things literally and everything was business. It was refreshing to see him actually joke about things rather than sitting back and get roasted. She was definitely rubbing off on him.

Tony made a disgusted face at first but after a minute of mentally visualizing it, his face changed to a longing one. "To think you could have been mine" he sighed shaking his head in disapproval. Stark always got what he wanted. If he couldn't game it,  
he would pay for it. He wasn't used to losing to anyone else but then again he's never dealt with anyone quite like the Black Widow. Still, he could see the chemistry between the soldier and the spy. The sexual tension between them was obvious since  
the first time they had met each other. Secretly, he's been rooting for them since the beginning but he wasn't going to admit it.

"Nah man, she was supposed to be mine bro. Falcon all day baby." Sam walked in on them in mid conversation. He grabbed two plates and filled it with food and walked back into the living room. "This food is bomb. You a lucky man Rogers!" He yelled from  
the living room which caused Steve and Natasha to laugh.

"I am" he looked at Natasha with pure admiration.

"If you ever get tired of Stars over here" Tony pointed to Steve "You know where to find me"

"I don't think I will have that problem" she smirked as she watched Tony turn around and leave to join the others in the living room. She turned back to look at her boyfriend who was devouring his plate happily. Something told her that Steve was going  
to be around for a while - at least she hoped so.

 _AN: I forgot to mention that Clint is not married in this story. Thanks TheJollyRoger for asking! Hopefully this chapter was up to par, like I said I'm on vacation so focusing on writing is super hard right now. Thank you everyone who has been constantly reviewing my chapters and motivating me to continue writing. You guys are the bomb dot com lol_


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

A mission normally only required two people to complete - at most four. With the kind of strength and talent the avengers possessed, the presence of whole team was rarely ever needed which was why it was extremely unusual when Fury had requested everyone  
be present. No one questioned it nor wanted to miss out on the action because they understood the magnitude of the operation. Whatever they were up against had to have been serious.

Natasha sat quietly with her eyes closed while some of the guys participated in small talk. She was never one to chit chat before a mission because she didn't see the point in it. It was unproductive and didn't benefit the team. Instead she would think  
and strategize - at least that was what she normally did. She couldn't do her usual because Fury hadn't given any information on what the mission entailed. He was tight lipped on the details, only stating that they should be ready for what is to come.  
Fury never withheld information from her, the others maybe but she always knew what she was dealing with. However, she was the Black widow - trained to expect the unexpected and succeed. Unlike Steve, who was currently sitting beside her with his  
brooding face. The control freak in him was taking control and driving him crazy.

"Keep brooding like that and there will be a permanent wrinkle between your eyebrows" she nudged him teasingly.

"Sorry" he said with a soft chuckle. He reached for her hand and softly rubbed it with his thumb before giving it a small squeeze. Steve had grown more comfortable with public displays of affection especially since the team toned down the teasing.  
"The only thing we know is we are heading to Russia. I just want to know what we are getting ourselves into."

"I understand" she nodded her head in acknowledgment. "But I need you focused" she said seriously.

"I am focused" he said softly.

"I know you are… I just-" she stopped midsentence, letting out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. "It's just for once in my life, I've never been more afraid to lose something - someone before" she said quietly. It was  
true. She was condition to separate emotions from business. As a matter of fact, there was never any emotion involved to begin with. That's why this was so foreign to her which only made it worse. She wasn't trained to deal with this.

"What happened to compartmentalizing" he teased her with a small smile on his face. He knows how hard it is for her to let her guard down so he wanted to lighten the mood so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable.

"I never had to compartmentalize anything like this before" she said quietly before laughing a bit. "God I'm becoming soft." Without saying anything, she leaned in a gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

"Get a room" Tony groaned.

"Thanks for ruining the moment" Natasha rolled her eyes at the immature billionaire. "I don't complain when you have girl talk about Pepper."

"I do not have girl talk about Pepper. I'm simply asking for advice from a woman's perspective" he began to defend himself. "Besides, who else can I ask? All these guys are a bit dry in the female department - No offense Cap"

It amazed her how someone as mature as Pepper fall for a guy like Tony. The man was a typical guy's guy. His maturity level was usually the same as a freshmen in high school. Not to mention his ego could suffocate anyone who was in a room with him. However,  
even Natasha could admit he had a certain charm to him - it was a bit much for her taste but she could see how a girl could fall under his charm. Besides, Tony's intentions were pure. She was proud of the way he was taking things slow with Pepper  
instead of being aggressive like he was with her when she first met him undercover.

She could hear the other guys start to defend themselves because of Tony's comment on their lack of love life - all but Steve of course. He wrapped an arm around her so she could lean her head into him. She closed her eyes and cleared her head. There  
wasn't much else they could do at this point with the lack of information. However, there was something in the pit of her stomach that didn't sit well. She didn't know what it was but she had a feeling that she just couldn't push aside and her  
intuition was always right.

It only took a few hours for them to arrive and they were immediately escorted to top secret building that was hidden underground. When they reached the room in the far corner, the team was surprised to see Nick Fury standing, patiently awaiting their  
presence.

"Everyone take a seat except for you Romanoff"

Natasha stopped mid step. She was confused but her face didn't show it. Instead of taking a seat, she walked up to Fury and grabbed the folder that he held out to her. She briefly flipped through the pages and realized that it was her old files. "What  
does my file have to do with anything?" Her voice was neutral even though her mind was racing.

"This is the mission" he said as if it were common sense. "I didn't tell any of you anything pertaining to the details of the operation because it heavily involves Agent Romanoff's past. I figured it was best to keep you in the dark until  
you guys arrived here." He paused and looked at Natasha. "The mission involves Alexi Shostakov. We've been carefully monitoring him and his men for months now. There's evidence that leads SHIELD to believe he is trying to restart the black  
widow program. I need you Agent Romanoff, to help us understand everything there is to know about this man and your involvement with the program in order to successfully capture Alexi and stop whatever he is planning."

It took her a minute to soak in the information she had just received. She thought that once she joined SHIELD, her past would remain in the past. She wasn't naive enough to believe that it was going to happen but it was wishful thinking. She looked around  
the table and saw the serious looks on everyone's faces, waiting for her to go on and give them the tools to be prepared for what they were going to face next.

"Alexi is my ex husband" she said dryly. The words came out like poison on her lips. "We got married after I graduated from the red room."

"Red here actually tied the knot" Tony tried to joke but saw the look on her face and immediately shut his mouth, realizing he was treading on thin ice.

"It wasn't out of love." She said bitterly. "The marriage didn't last very long. Anyways, he has deep connections with powerful people here in Russia. I'm not surprised that he's trying to restart the program." She quickly glanced  
at Steve and noticed how tense he was and she couldn't blame him. She's never gotten into detail with him about her past, at least not this part of it so all of it was news to him. She couldn't tell if he was mad at her or not for keeping it from  
him but she forced herself to continue. This was only the first skeleton in her closets and she didn't plan on exposing any more than necessary. "He has eyes everywhere. The only way you're going to get to him is me."

"No" Steve said sternly. His arms were crossed across his chest and his face was solid as a rock. Before anyone could protest, he got up from his seat and walked out the door. All eyes watched him leave before turning their attention back to  
her.

"I'll talk to him" she sighed. "In the meantime, we stick to the plan. I'm the only way you are going to get to him."

"Why do you think he will care you're here in Russia?" Sam spoke up.

"Because I cheated on him. He hates me." With that said, she walked out the door to look for her boyfriend. There was a lot they had to talk about.

 _AN: Hey guys, it's been a while. I'm officially no longer on Vacation and is back and ready to update this story in a timely manner :D. To answer the question about Tony, he was kinda joking, kinda not. Everyone wants the Black Widow because well who doesn't want Scarlett Johansson lol but yes he does have a forming relationship with Pepper... I'm not sure if I will dive into that in this story just because I don't know much about their relationship to give it justice. Thanks for reading and remember reviews are wanted._


	14. Chapter 14

It didn't take Natasha very long to find Steve. Not like there were many places he could go to hide. Besides, she knew him like the back of her hand. He would definitely pick a spot he could brood in private especially after the bomb she just dropped  
/in the conference room. She sees him standing in the corner, sitting at a table by himself - arms crossed with his serious face on. She stands in the distance studying him. He was upset and she couldn't blame him. She slowly walked toward him til  
/she was only few steps away from him before stopping, debating on how to approach the situation so she stood there in silence. She can sense that he knew she was there because of how tense his body was when she got closer. Either he was ignoring her,  
/hoping she would leave or he was clueless on how to handle the issue as well. After a few minutes, she shook her head and walked over and took the seat across from him.

"Hey" she whispered while mentally kicking herself. Out of all the things she could've said she chose the lamest one there was. God, she was losing her touch.

He glanced slightly at her and nodded his head, acknowledging her without words. He was definitely upset. She sighed, looking down at her hands. "I'm sorry. I told you I'm not cut out for this whole relationship thing"

It took him a few minutes to gather his thoughts. "I just feel like I don't even know you." He sighed.

"You do know me."

"No. I only know the parts of you, you allow me to see. I don't know anything about your past-"

"Why does that matter?" She cut him off. She didn't understand why he was so adamant on wanting to know about her previous life.

"Because your past makes up who you are today." He said firmly. He wasn't going to let her get off the hook so easy. "I want you to trust me. I need you to let me in all the way in order for this to work."

Natasha listened to his words carefully. She wanted to let him so bad but there was a part of her that wasn't ready for that. "There's just so much you don't know" her words trailed off. The annoyance she had a second ago faded away because

she knew he had good intentions.

"Then tell me everything there is to know about you. Starting with your ex husband." He reached for her hand, giving her a soft reassuring squeeze.

"Alexi and I met when I was in the red room." Her voice was bitter as she replayed the memories of her past in her head. She didn't regret anything in her past but she regretted being in a relationship with that man. "In the beginning,

he was the nicest guy to me. Sweet, kind, and he made me laugh. It was like he treated me as more than the black widow. Of course it didn't last long. After I graduated, I found out he was only nice to me because he wanted the most powerful weapon  
/as his arm candy." She spit out the words like they were poison before laughing dryly. "I agreed to marry him because I thought that maybe I could change him. I was wrong."

Steve listened intently at her words, softly stroking her hand with his thumb. "What happened to you two?" His eyes were void of any judgment and his voice was gentle, encouraging her to continue her story.

"I met someone else. Remember when I told you I fell in love before?" She waited for him to nod before continuing. "Well, I had an affair with another man and fell in love."

"Who was he?"

Natasha thought carefully as to how to answer his question. This was the topic that she wanted to so desperately avoid. The one skeleton that she does not want Steve to ever find out about because if he did, she was sure he would never look at her the  
/same and she wasn't ready to accept that just yet

"He was an ally of Alexi" she kept her words vague. She was pleased that Steve didn't push for more details. "My affair is the reason Alexi will stop at nothing to get to me once he sees me. In his own twisted way, he loved me and I betrayed

him. I'm the only person that will actually catch his attention."

Steve nodded his head understandingly. Although he didn't agree with using her as bait, he knew it was their best chance at catching the guy. All the anger he felt had subsided and replaced with newfound respect for his girlfriend. "Thank you."

He said before lifting her hand and placed a small kiss on it.

"For what" she asked confused.

"For being honest with me about everything. I know it was hard for you but I want to let you know, it meant a lot that you opened up to me."

Natasha faked a smile, feeling guilty about withholding information from the man she cared about. It was true he knew almost everything about her but she was keeping the most important piece of information from him. Instead of being completely honest,  
/she was lying to him right to his face. Technically not lying but withholding information but at this point what was the difference. One day, it would come back around and bite her in the ass but today she was going to pretend like everything was  
/okay.

She couldn't find the words to say so instead she got out of her seat and grabbed his hand and lead him to their designated compound. When she reached her room, she pulled him in and locked the door behind her. Before he could ask her what she was doing,  
/she silenced him with a deep passionate kiss, pressing her body against his. Loving the feeling of his tongue dancing with hers, she pushed him back on the bed before straddling him. His hands automatically finding their rightful place on her ass  
/as she grinded against him. She could feel him get hard from under her which only made her grind harder on him. Before long, clothes were flying off, leaving them both only in their underwear. This was her way of thanking him for being the best thing  
/that has happened to her in a long while.

"Are you sure you want this" Steve asked trying to catch his breath. "This isn't the most romantic setting" he said nervously. As much as he was enjoying the moment, there was a part of him that was still old fashion and wanted their

first time to be special.

She laughed slightly before pecking his lips softly. "As long as I'm with you, everything is perfect." It surprised her how sentimental her statement was but also how true it was. She slowly undid her bra and slid off her panties, watching as

his eyes scanned her fully naked body in awe. The act of her undressing herself was enough for him to put aside his reservations and act on his needs.

"God you're so beautiful" he whispered, placing gentle kisses on her breast. After a few minutes of her moaning, he wanted to give her more pleasure so he slowly made his way down to her inner thighs, leaving love bites along the way. He spread

her legs and took a look at his prize. A little nervous because he's never actually done this before, he started off slow, only leaving gentle kisses to test the waters. After a few pecks, he grew more comfortable and hungrily kissed and licked her.  
/Her moans growing louder and louder with every touch. She had to admit, he was a fast learner. He knew exactly what she liked. Not to mention, she already knew he was amazing with his tongue by the way he frenched kissed. Natasha Romanoff was in heaven.

"God Steve" she moaned in pure pleasure. It wasn't long before she was screaming his name as she hit her orgasm. Never in her life has she's ever had an orgasm. She was always the one to use her body as a weapon - to please the man. Steve was

different from any other man she's ever been with. He focused on her rather than himself - being gentle and attentive to all the signs of what pleased her.

"Was I okay?" He asked shyly as he got up and laid beside her.

"You were alright" she kinked her eyebrow teasingly. "Now it's my turn." She pushed his body down and licked her way down to his boxers. Steve tried to take off his boxers for her but she grabbed his hand and stopped him. Without taking

the material off, she grabbed him softly, squeezing him gently before using her tongue to trace the outline of him through his boxers. The sound of his moan was music to her ears. After a few more teasing licks, she rips off his boxers and looks at  
/his member with a triumphant smile on her face. She always knew that Steve was packing but to see him in full hard action was even more satisfying.

Without warning, she grabbed his member and wrapped her lips around him seductively, eyes never leaving his. She wanted to see the pleasure she was giving him because hearing his moans wasn't enough. His reaction was like a drug to her and after a few  
/minutes he came into her mouth and she happily drank every last drop. She licked her lips and crawled back into his arms and laid her head on his chest.

"That was amazing" he said through heavy breaths. "But I'm not done yet." He said with a smirk on his face.

Natasha raised her eyebrow at him. Instead of explaining himself, he flipped her over so she was under him and positioned himself before her legs. He rubbed on himself a few times before he was back to being hard as a rock and ready. The surprise was  
/evident on her face. Since they have began their relationship, Natasha has come to learn that Steve was an undercover freak - touchy and hands on but she never expected him to take control like this especially for his first time.

"Thank god for super serum" she said with a smirk.

He looked into her eyes searching for her approval to continue. When she nodded, he slowly pushed himself inside of her. "God Nat, you're so tight" he moaned. Once he was fully inside her, he pulled himself back before sliding inside her again,

ever so gently. After a few strokes, he fasten his pace. Each stroke deeper and harder. He pinned her arms down so there was no way she could flip him over to gain dominance. As they both were about to reach their peak, he lowered his head and kissed  
/her softly on the lips.

"I love you" he said as he came inside her as she too had her second orgasm of the night.

He kissed her again before pulling away once he realized that she was crying. "What's wrong baby?" He asked concerned that the three words might have scared her off. "You don't have to say it back. I just-"

She could hear the panic in his voice so she placed her hand over his mouth to stop him from rambling. "It's not that. It's just I've had sex before but this time it was different" she said softly, wiping away her tears. She couldn't believe

that she was crying right now. The sex was amazing - the best she's ever had in her whole life. It made no sense for her to be like this right now but when did anything between the soldier and the spy make sense?

"This was perfect." He whispered as he kissed her neck. "Oh you better hide that" he said pointed to the hickey he left.

"Yeah. Who knew Captain America was so aggressive in bed" she laughed teasingly. She closed her eyes and cuddled into his body and he did the same. "Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you too" she said with a smile.

Thrilled to hear her say it back, he kissed her lips deeply. He hadn't expected to hear her say it back but was ecstatic that she did. They were moving forward and he didn't plan on taking any steps back.

"Babe?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you say it again"

Natasha laughed at how cute hewas being. It made her heart flutter to know that he wanted to hear her say those three words again. "I love you" she said in between kisses. "Big baby".

 _AN: I think I dragged their first time long enough. How is this story going?_


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

The next morning, Steve and Natasha walked hand and hand to the kitchen area where all the other avengers were already seated, eating breakfast before being sent off to complete the mission.

"Good morning guys" Steve said with a smile that stretched across his face. He was in a _very_ good mood after the events of last night.

His chipper attitude made Clint and Tony look at each other. They weren't used to seeing the Captain like this.

"Okay, what did you do with Steve Rogers?" Tony blurted out.

"What do you mean?" Steve loaded his plate with food and began to dig in - not even noticing the stares he was getting from the team. Natasha on the other hand was extremely amused. If her calculations were correct, she gave it 5 minutes before they find out that Captain America had lost his virginity last night. Instead of chiming in, she opted to watch as the entertainment unfold.

"I agree with Stark. Why are you so _happy_ this morning?" Clint said almost disgusted how much Steve was oozing out happiness. It wasn't like he was emo or anything but for as long as he's known Steve, he's only ever seen serious, broody Steve. It was almost creepy to see him beaming with joy.

"I can't be happy?" Steve continued on to his second plate, the smile still on his face.

"He's almost beaming… There's like a glow on him or am I seeing things?" Tony stared intently at his friend, trying to analyze the situation.

Clint and Sam both joined in on studying the Captain. They both nodded in agreement. Something was definitely off right now.

"He's even humming show tunes right now." Sam said amused.

"I think he's humming the friends theme song" Clint laughed.

Tony continued to focus on Steve before noticing Natasha being extremely quiet next to him, wearing an amused expression. There was a certain smug grin on her face that he didn't notice before. The same smug grin she wore when she got what she wanted. Natasha could see the wheels turning in Tony's head and knew that it was only a matter of seconds before he sees the bigger picture.

"Oh. My. God" Tony screamed, standing up from his seat, eyes practically bulging out of his head. He pointed his finger at the couple with a shocked face. "You two did the deed."

Steve immediately stopped eating. Natasha had to bite her lip from bursting out laughing. Steve literally looked like a deer in headlights right now and it was completely hilarious. Not to mention utterly adorable.

"Uh - I, we" Steve stumbled his words, failing to think of anything quick enough and clever enough to say. He glanced at Natasha who was unfazed by the whole situation, sporting a smirk on her face.

"You totally did it" Sam said giving him a proud smile then lifted his hand for a fist bump. "You the man."

Steve returned the fist bump hesitantly. This was not the way he wanted things to happen. What was done in private, should stay in private but that was nearly impossible with the avengers. Eventually everything came to the light and this time it happened to be his sex life.

"Are you boys done?" Natasha finally cut in. She figured she would come to her man's rescue since he was practically swarming with uncomfortableness. She leaned over and gave Steve a kiss on the cheek before turning her attention back to her teammates who were still discussing the topic. Boys were so dense. If it wasn't about sex, it was about sports or cars. Besides that, nothing else really held their attention that long. "Tony did you ever get Pepper in your bed yet?" She decided to poke back at Tony for making such a big deal out of it. She knew Pepper was a sore spot since he was still only on first base with the girl.

"We're taking things slow" he said clearing his throat.

"Yeah they're going full snail force" Clint joined in on the teasing as the rest of the team busted out laughing.

"Shut up. Let's just get ready for the mission." Tony hurried up and threw his trash away before leaving. Natasha was going to continue to tease but the beat red face was embarrassing enough so she decided to let it slip… This time. The rest of the avengers followed his lead, throwing out the trash and went to the SUV that was going to take them to the heart of downtown. It was game time.

* * *

The avengers had been observing Alexi's base for hours now. They had followed one of his men and ended up find the man's hideout. Finding him had been surprisingly easy. The hard part was coming up with a plan that could get them in without causing too much commotion. The place was heavily guarded and the men were armed. From what they could see, there was at least four men guarding the front door. Steve paid close attention to the movement of the men. There was no doubt that they were trained fighters by the look of their physique. However, they were getting tired. For some reason, Alexi didn't switch out his guards so it was the same men all day. This meant that by the laws of nature, eventually they would become tired. It was a matter of time now.

Steve checked his watch. It was almost midnight and he could see the men dozing off. He turned to look at Natasha who was in full Black Widow mode. Her eyes were filled with determination. He could tell she was mentally preparing herself for her reunion with her ex husband. She hasn't spoken since they found his hideout and no one brought it up. He grabbed her hand and gave it a little squeeze, letting her know without words that he was there for her before turning his attention back on the targets. As if right on cue, the men finally went to sleep.

"Ready to go?" He whispered.

Natasha simply nodded and waited for Clint to shoot tranquilizers at the guards to keep them asleep. After a few minutes, she got up from her spot and quietly walked over to the door, keeping her eyes open for anyone else who might pop up. She did a quick search on the guards and found a key card which she used to enter the building. Steve followed behind shortly after making sure to keep a good distance between them. Just enough space to intervene just in case things went south. The plan was for her to navigate through the building by herself but Steve insisted on coming. The team had to come to a compromise by agreeing to let him go as a backup as long as he remained in the shadows until needed.

Of course, the Black widow had no problems making her way through the building. She took down any men that were in her way. Still, she couldn't find Alexi and she had a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach that this was way too easy. Something was off. After clearing everyone in her path and searching every room she came across there was only one left. She approached the door with caution. _This is the one. It had to be._ She opened the door and there he was, waiting for her.

"Natalie, you finally found me." He was smiling at her - anticipating her arrival. At that moment, she knew that this was a set up. She was foolish to think that they could use the element of surprise against him.

"It's been a long time, Alexi" She took a step toward him, keeping eye contact with her ex husband. She wanted to let him know that she was the dominate one in this situation - that he had no power whatsoever. She knew she was getting under his skin even though he wasn't showing any signs of irritation. Like her, he was a master mind in manipulation.

"It has been Natalie." He nodded before continuing. "You look still look beautiful my dear." To a normal person, the smile on his face was charming. It would make any girl swoon but Natasha knew him better than anyone else.

"Wish I could say the same about you"

Her response caused him to laugh before he took a few steps closer to her. She noticed he was keeping a good amount of distance between them which she took as a good sign. It meant that he was being cautious - meaning he was intimidated by her. She could see his eyes look behind her and knew that he was aware she wasn't the only one in the room even though he hasn't acknowledged it out loud. Even though he was being timid, she knew he had men ready at his disposable, ready to fight if it resorted to that.

"Did you miss me?" He asked directly, eyes looking right at her. There was a hint of resentment still present in his eyes. After all these years, he still was still unable to move on which was anything but surprising. Even back then, his inability to let go of grudges resulted in him sending his men to handle the "job". Natasha stood firm while remaining silent. He was a ticking time bomb and she wasn't ready to ignite it just yet. She knew better than to jump the gun before knowing every aspect of the situation at hand. She had to keep the situation calm or else Steve would make himself a part of this equation. When she didn't answer him, he grew a smirk on his face. "Of course you didn't ." He lowered his head, shaking it while laughing quietly. "But I know you missed _him."_

"Still holding on to the past I see Alexi" Natasha smirked at him. However, that changed when his bitter expression turned into a smug grin.

"It's been years since you've seen me...and _him._ That's why I have a little surprise for you"

As soon as he said it, a man walked out from the door behind him and it made her heart stop. She couldn't see his face just yet but the silver arm gave it away. _No. It couldn't be him_. Her eyes were filled with shock and she didn't even bother to hide it. She stood there frozen as she watched the man stand next to Alexi and take his mask off.

"James" she whispered still in a state of shock. The last time she's seen him was in DC and he was the winter soldier, completely unaware of who he was but this time it was different. His eyes were looking right at her and there was a tiny smile on his face.

"Natalie." He said taking a step forward and pulling her in for an embrace. "I missed you so much"

Natasha had to pull away and look at him to make sure this was real. She was at a loss for words, unable to form any real comprehendible sentences.

"Steve?" James looked past her. "Steve, is that you?" He let go of her and walked past her. She was so caught up in the moment that she didn't even hear Steve come up behind her.

"Bucky?" Steve stood where he was, not wanting to scare his best friend away. He wasn't sure if this was a trap but there that undeniable hope he had that it was true. He tried his best to push aside the burning feeling of jealousy he felt with seeing how close the two were.

"How have you been buddy?" James walked over to Steve and gave him a hug which Steve gladly accepted.

"You remember?"

"I remember everything"

Natasha turned away from the reunion between the soldiers and found Alexi smirking as if everything he had planned was falling into place.

"How did -?" She began to say but couldn't finish the sentence. She was overwhelmed with emotions.

"I found a way to get his memories back. You don't have to thank me." The smirk on his face permanently glued on. "I thought that your new boyfriend should formally meet your ex lover but I guess they already knew each other"

Natasha quickly turned and noticed the undeniable tension that arose between them. Although they were happy to reunite again on good terms this time, she knew things were about to change between the three of them. Steve took a step back from his friend and his girlfriend. The look of hurt evident on his face all the while still remaining strong. He heard all the clues that were dropped when Natasha was talking to Alexi earlier but he wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. He couldn't help but feel like an idiot. The one person he trusted with his every being had lied to him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was void of any emotions which only made Natasha feel worse about her decision of keeping it from him.

"I'm so sorry Steve. I really wanted to tell you. I just didn't know how." She took a step toward him but he took a step back. The once blue eyes were now dark and hollow. The way he was looking at her made her heart ache in ways she didn't even know was possible. She could see James in her peripheral standing awkwardly in the corner. As much as she was glad to see him with all of his memories in tact, she couldn't help wish for the alternative. She knew she couldn't blame him for the grave she dug herself but if they hadn't been reunited him or he didn't have his memories, none of this would be happening.

He turned away from her and focused his attention on his best friend. It was a bittersweet moment for Steve. He should be ecstatic to finally have Bucky back but instead he couldn't help but feel betrayed. He knew it wasn't Bucky's fault but at this exact moment it all felt the same. The pain in his chest felt like a knife was stabbing him a million times. It hurt to be left in the dark - to think you know everything about a person, only to find out you know absolutely nothing about them. He wondered if not for this situation, would Natasha even tell him about her past relationship with his best friend or if Bucky would have even said anything. Or maybe they would have kept it for him for as long as they possibly could. He took a deep breath before saying a word. He had to choose his words carefully because at the end of the day, this was not the place or time to act on personal issues. They were in the middle of a mission and he was going to complete it before even thinking about the talk he was going to have with Natasha - with Bucky. Before he could say a word, there was an explosion. Tony had blasted through the building right in time to carry out the mission.

"Go to the quinjet" Steve demanded Bucky and Natasha. He avoided eye contact with both but his voice was stern enough to let them know this was not a negotiating matter. Natasha was about to protest but was pulled away by Bucky. He protectively held her as they jumped on to the quinjet that was waiting for them on the side of the building.

"We can't leave him!" She screamed but was restrained from jumping back into the building. She was his partner before anything else. She wanted to be fighting beside him, making sure that she had his back. There was so much that she needed to say - to explain to him. This was not the way she wanted things to end.

"He can take care of himself"

She tried to fight her way back but it was pointless. She could hear Steve demanding Clint to fly the quinjet back to Avenger towers through the intel which Clint obliged. She sank down in her seat in defeat, covering her face with her hands. If only she had told him back in DC about her past with his best friend. It might have jeopardized any chance of them starting a relationship but she rather have him as only a friend than not have him in her life at all. She needed him to return back in one piece. Natasha need _him._

 _AN: Dun Dun Dunnnnn. Trouble in paradise. Geez they just can't catch a break._


	16. Chapter 16

_Back at the avenger towers_

It was currently 2 in the morning and there was still no sign of Steve. Tony had informed everyone that they had successfully captured Alexi and they were on there way back to imprison him for questioning but that had been hours ago. Now she was in his room, waiting pathetically for her boyfriend or soon to be ex boyfriend to return so she could try to talk things out with him.

"Friday? Has Captain Rogers landed yet?" She had already instructed Friday to inform her when Steve was back but she was growing more impatient by the minute - if that were even possible.

" _According to my records, Captain Rogers should be arriving in approximately 10 minutes."_

"Thank you Friday"

Natasha debated on if she should go down to the compound or wait for him in his room. After a few minutes of careful consideration, she decided to stay put and wait. Going down to the compound would mean that she would inevitably run into Bucky which she had purposely been avoiding since they had returned. Not only did she have to explain herself to Steve but she knew she owed Bucky an explanation as well. This little love triangle or whatever it was, was really irritating her. When did her life become so complicated. She was the black widow - an agent of SHIELD. The hardest aspect of her life should be deciding on how she would take down a target yet here she was stuck between two men. She'd finally come to terms with being in a relationship with Steve, now her ex lover shows up and turns things upside down. It was just her luck. Natasha was beginning to believe the fates were trying to tell her something.

The click of the front door unlocking pulled her out of her thoughts. She knew he could tell she was waiting for him because there was a slight pause before the door was shut and locked. There was a soft sigh before those footsteps were headed toward her direction. At least he wasn't running away from her. It only took him a minute before opening the door. She could tell he was pretty beat up from the mission by the bruises and cuts on his face. If it were anyone else, they would have been forced to go to the medical ward but thank his lucky stars for the super soldier serum. He only glanced at her for a second before heading straight to the closet and then the bathroom without so much of a head nod. _Yep, he was definitely still mad._

"Hey" she said in almost a whisper when he came out of the bathroom after his quick shower. God, if they weren't in the predicament they were in, they would definitely be having sex right now. The steam was coming off of his body and the boxer briefs are hugging everything perfectly. Even with the cuts and bruises, he was still easily the sexiest man through her eyes.

"Hey" he mumbled as he walked to the side of the bed and sat down next to her.

They both sat where they were in silence. The tension was at an all time high. Neither one of them really sure of where to start.

"I'm-"

"I-"

They both blurted out at the same time before falling into silence again.

"I'm sorry Steve." She could see his hands clench and refrained herself from reaching over to hold his hand. It wasn't that she was afraid of him. Steve would never hurt her. She knew that. She just didn't want to upset him anymore than he already was.

"Why didn't you tell me in D.C?" He tried to keep his voice void of any emotion but failed. She could see his jaw harden as soon as he said it. His head turned and his eyes were dark as he was looking straight into her eyes. "You had the chance to tell me but you didn't"

"I know and I'm sorry" Natasha nodded in agreement. "I just didn't think it matter then"

"Don't give me that bullshit." Steve stood up abruptly, raising his voice more than he had intended to. "You knew he was my best friend. Even after the mission was over and you handed me the folder. You could have told me but you didn't." He paused for a little before continuing. "I trusted you but I guess lying is a hard trait to stray from." His voice was bitter. The words spilled out before he could take them back. He knew it was a low blow but it was too late now.

"Don't you dare do that to me." Natasha raised her voice right back. This wasn't the way she wanted the talk to go but she was now too mad.

"Do what?" He turned and faced her challengingly. He could tell things were about to get ugly but he wasn't going to back down. He was hurt. He had the right to be hurt. In all honesty, how could he not be angry and hurt.

"You put people on this pedestal - giving them these unrealistic high standards that YOU think they should follow and when they fall short of those expectations, you do this. I'm not perfect. I told you from the beginning there are things in my past I have a hard time dealing with." She crossed her arms, standing her ground. As much as she loved the man, sometimes he can be unfair with his expectations especially when it came to her. There was a tiny voice in the back of her mind to let him vent and not say a word because it was her fault this was even happening but she was too stubborn to back down. Both of them were too prideful to give way to the other.

"Stop making excuses. You're not the only one with skeletons in their closets and a past that isn't easy to talk about. You don't ever deal with it. You avoid it like a plague until something like this comes along and blows up in your face." He was now pacing back and forth, trying to control his temper. It's been awhile since he's been this anger and he didn't know how to deal with it. He trusted her and she lied to him.

"Fine. Let's deal with it head on" she yelled sarcastically. "I met James back when I was still in the red room. We fell in love while I was married to Alexi. James was the first man I ever loved and then he was gone. One day he just disappeared without a word or a trace and I was heartbroken. Not only was your friend my first love, he was always the reason why I didn't believe in love anymore. And now that he's back, I don't know what to do." She sat down on the bed and buried her face into her hands. "I don't know how to fix this" she murmured in exasperation before looking back at him with tired eyes. "How do I fix this?"

Steve's heart almost broke seeing how terrible Natasha felt about everything. He could see it in her eyes that she truly was sorry. Maybe he was partially at fault for this. For whatever reason, he didn't make her feel safe enough to share her secrets. He sat down on the bed next to her, making sure to keep a distance between them. "I just want to know. Do you still love him?" He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer but he asked anyways. He needed to know.

"I care about him" She knew the answer wasn't exactly what he wanted but she had to be truthful with him. "But that doesn't mean I don't care about you or love you Steve. He's my first love. I'm always going to have a special place in my heart for him." As soon as the words left her mouth, she could see his body tense and almost regret being honest about this particular matter. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him more than she already had.

Her honest words made him nod his head subconsciously. He could relate to her. Peggy was his first love and he would never ever forget the way she made him feel. Besides, he remembered how smooth Bucky was with the ladies back then. On top of that, he was a good guy. He could never compete with his best friend. He had her first and that was that. No matter how much he tried to convince himself of this, it still hurt him to the core to accept it. He loved her so much that it hurt him right now. People always said love was pain.

"I get it." He reached over to hold her hand for the first time since the incident and stroked her hand with his thumb. He took a deep breath to gather his strength to continue. "I think you should give it a try with him again. You both deserve to be happy" he gave her a forced smile but Natasha could see right through it.

"I didn't say I wanted to be with him." She said confused at his words. "I care about him Steve but I love you. Isn't that enough for us to get through this?" She could see him slowly giving up on them and it broke her heart to a million pieces. Battle wounds could compare to the pain she was feeling right now watching the man she loved giving up on her. She wanted to cry right then and there but didn't. Crying wasn't going to fix all the damage she has done.

Steve looked away, trying to hold back his own tears that were threatening to pour out. "There's no trust between us Nat. I can't be with someone who isn't completely honest with me. Maybe the reason you weren't honest is because there's unfinished business there." It pained him to say it - absolutely killed him. He was pushing the girl he loved into the arms of his best friend. There had to be unfinished business between Nat and Bucky. That was the only logical reason he could think of to justify her lying to him.

"I don't want to be with him." Natasha tried to explain to him but noticed his lack of eye contact that he had made up his mind. There was no way of changing Captain America's mind when it's made up. "But I understand if you need space." She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek before standing up and leaving. She didn't turn back to look at him because she knew if she did, she would lose all strength to give him what he needed. She'll give him as much space and time as he needed. For the first time in Natasha Romanoff's life, she loved a man enough to put his needs before what she wanted.

 _AN: I need a little bit of angst in my life and literally had anxiety writing this chapter. I've read so many stories where Steve was the selfless one who didn't care about Natasha dating Bucky in the past but I feel as though he's still a man regardless if he's Captain America or not. It can't be an easy pill to swallow to hear the love of your life was in love with your best friend. I feel like his reaction was necessary._


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17:

Natasha laid in bed staring at the ceiling. Her eyes were red and puffy from her crying herself to sleep. She could only imagine how rough she looked right now but she didn't care. She deserved everything she was getting right now. Out of all the mess  
ups she had caused throughout her life, she had to admit this was the most royally fucked up thing she had done. What possessed her to think that she could keep such a big secret from him in the first place? She knew the consequences of her actions  
long before it happened. As much as she wanted to use the fact that she was afraid of hurting him with the truth was the reason for her dishonesty, she couldn't. Deep down, she knew it wasn't about him. It was about her. She didn't want to tell him  
her past relationship with Bucky because she was afraid of getting hurt. She fell for Steve hard and the thought of losing him scared her.

She turned over on her side and saw the clock stare right at her. 7:00 am in the morning. She was supposed to already be ready and down for breakfast like she usually is but instead she laid in bed, drowning in her sorrows. Out of all of her injuries,  
she would have never expected heartbreak to be the most painful of them all. This isn't you. Natasha Romanoff does not throw herself a pity party. As much emotional pain she was in, she couldn't be that girl. Never in her life had she allowed herself  
to be the type of woman to let life control her. She was not going to be a victim, a damsel in distress. Time stopped for no one and whether or not she was okay was not going to change that. Everyone goes through rough patches, you're not special.  
She rose out of bed and went right to the bathroom. She took a nice hot shower and got out. She looked in the mirror and shook her head in disapproval. She looked exactly the way she felt - like shit. Pull yourself together. Her eyes were less swollen  
thanks to the shower but the dark circles under her eyes were more distinct than ever before. Thank the Lord above for make up. It took a few minutes for her to conceal the bags and make herself look halfway decent. Not her best day but it was better  
than the atrocity she saw earlier in the mirror. She got dressed quickly and made her way to the dining area for a little breakfast. Despite not having an appetite, she was forcing herself to continue her normal routine. She knew that if she shown  
any signs of distress, there would be endless questions and that was the last thing she wanted right now. By now, all of SHIELDS probably knew about her and Captain America's break up and she wouldn't be surprised if they were the new hottest gossip  
for the moment.

Her suspicions were confirmed when she walked into the dining room and everyone got quiet. All eyes were on her but she didn't let it bother her - at least she didn't show it. She could see Steve fighting himself to not make eye contact with her. His  
dark bags and tired expression let her know that he too was having a hard time with the break up as well. Seeing him like that gave her a rush of guilt wash over her once again. It was her fault that he was like this. She hurried and grabbed a bagel  
since it was quick and took a seat at the end of the table. To her dismay, Steve conveniently excused himself from the table and left as quickly as he could without making any eye contact with her. Natasha didn't know if she should be happy to be  
able to avoid any awkwardness or be sad that they couldn't be in the same room anymore without there being tension. She was so consumed in her thoughts that she didn't realize Bucky had taken a seat next to her. God, she was losing it. Not only was  
she an emotional wreck, it was affecting her super spy skills as well.

"Hey" he said in a low whisper. Bucky was trying to remain as lowkey as possible. Ever since he had been taken to Avenger towers, everyone had been giving him the cold shoulder. As a matter of fact, if it weren't for Steve, he would be locked  
up in a cell next to Alexi. He didn't blame any of the Avengers for being unwelcoming. The last time he had seen any of them, he had tried to kill them. If he were in their shoes, he wasn't so sure he would be so easily accepting either.

"Hey" Natasha forced a small smile before taking a bite of the bagel.

"Can we talk? You've been avoiding me."

The three words she had been dreading. Even though she was completely drained, she nodded her head in agreement. There was no point in avoiding it. She got out of her seat and walked out the door. Bucky followed her lead and they found an empty room to  
have their talk. When they both took their seat, Natasha was the first to speak.

"I guess I owe you an explanation."

"Straight to the point I see. You never were one for beating around the bush" he chuckled before grabbing her hand in his. He felt her tense up by the little physical contact.

Natasha pulled her hand away instantly. "I'm sorry" She didn't want to hurt his feelings or give him the wrong impression. When she looked at him, the butterflies weren't there anymore. She didn't feel anything. She cared for him but it didn't  
extend past friendship.

"It's okay" he said quietly. Deep down he still loved her. She was the only girl he had ever had a real relationship with. He'll always have feelings for her. Of course it hurt him that his affections were one sided but he understood that it  
had been a long time since they were together.

" I care about you James… It's just -" she began to explain herself before being cut off.

"Hey, I can take a hint" he teased. "So tell me how it happened. You and Steve huh"

Natasha was thankful James was being so understanding about everything. She had been there for Steve when he was still adjusting to the new era but Bucky had just gotten his memories back. She couldn't imagine how tough it was for him right now. She debated  
on even being completely upfront with him about her feelings for Steve or not. Eventually she decided that it was best she was honest. Lying already got her into enough trouble as it is.

"It just happened." She said with a smile on her face. "I'll couldn't even tell you what it was about him that attracted me. All I can say is that I felt naturally drawn to him. He was different. Despite being so lost in the new generation,  
he somehow managed to remain true to himself and I admired that. We clicked." Her voice trailed off with her thoughts as she reminisced on their past. The words came out of her mouth before she could even process that she was being so open about  
her feelings. Surprisingly, it felt good to not have to pretend to be "hard". "After so many years of working along side of each other, we built a trust - a relationship. He makes me feel like I'm worth it. Like I'm worthy of redemption  
but I ruined that"

Bucky remained quiet as she spoke, noting the authenticity in her voice. She was being one hundred percent herself right now. Her words were honest and he could feel the pure, raw emotion behind her words. It amazed him to see her being so honest with  
him - with herself. Steve had given her the strength to feel again. Something he knew she tried so hard to avoid. He grabbed her hand once again when she started beating herself up. Surprisingly, this time she didn't pull away.

"You didn't ruin anything Natasha. You're human. You make mistakes. Don't be too hard on yourself. Give him time."

"You don't get it James. There isn't any more time to give. I hurt him. He's done with me"

Bucky shook his head, shooting down her negativity. "There's always time. Besides, the man is in love with you. I can see it in the way he looks at you… and I can tell you're in love with him too. It wouldn't hurt if he didn't feel for you or vice  
versa. Give it time"

Natasha sat there quietly, letting his words marinate. Although she doubted Steve would forgive her, it felt nice to have someone to talk to. She forgotten how much she enjoyed Bucky's company. "Thank you" she whispered and pulled him in for  
a hug.

"For what" he mumbled, hugging her back.

"For being a friend"

There was a loud thump that disrupted their moment. They both turned around and Steve staring at them with a hurt expression on his face. Before Natasha could get the words out of her mouth to explain the situation, he mumbled a quick "sorry"  
before walking away.

AN: Not my favorite chapter but I needed to give Bucky and Natasha some form of closure. I just recently moved so I've haven't had much time to write.


	18. Chapter 18

After seeing Natasha and Bucky in an intimate position, he raced out to the garage and hopped on his bike. He drove off without any particular destination in mind. The only thing that was clear as day was he wanted to get as far away as possible from the avenger tower - preferably somewhere no one would be able to find him. He needed space to gather his thoughts and recollect himself. In that exact moment, his emotions were all over the place. Jealousy. Anger. Sadness. All things he shouldn't be feeling right now. Especially since he was the one to end things in the first place. To make matters even more confusing, he even felt a bit of relief seeing them together. At least he knew the reason why she kept the relationship from him. It hurt but it gave him a sense of clarity.

After half an hour of mindless driving, he settled on his little apartment in Brooklyn. It was the obvious choice so he knew Natasha wouldn't find him - at least not for another few days. As he walked through the door, he immediately went straight to the fridge and pulled out a case beer then sat down on his shabby couch. He couldn't get drunk but it was the thought that count. The idea that he was drinking alcohol, doing what normal people would do when they were going through a heartbreak helped eased his mind a bit.

He turned on the tv just for some background noise. His mind was too flooded with thoughts for him to actually pay attention to whatever was playing on the screen. Why did he always have such bad luck with women? With Peggy, he never even had a chance to explore what they could've had. He had strong feelings for her but the timing was off. As if destiny was trying to tell him they weren't meant to be together. He accepted that. On the other hand with Natasha, he having a hard time accepting they weren't a match. They started off as friends and let time take it's course which was completely opposite of how things were with Peggy. He didn't have the proper time to get to know the little things about Peggy like he did Natasha. As different as they were as people, they complimented each other. He'd be lying if he said Natasha didn't make him feel happier than he's ever been before. Before her, he had accepted loneliness - that his only purpose was to save the world. To be Captain America. She came into his life and reconstructed the way he viewed the world and made him reconsider everything he thought he knew and wanted. She made him feel alive again. That's why seeing her in another man's arms felt like someone ripped open his stitches and stabbed him in the heart once again.

He took another long drag of the beer before sighing. He could hear tiny footsteps approach the door and knew his cover was blown. She had found him sooner than he had intended for her to. It took her a few minutes to pick the lock but once she opened the door, she stood by the door frame and looked at him carefully. She didn't say a word because she was uncertain of what to say next.

"It didn't take you very long to find me" he said with a soft humorless chuckle. His eyes remained glued to the tv even though he wasn't actually watching.

"I figured you would try to outsmart me and go to the most obvious place, thinking it was going to be the last place I would look. Guess I was right." She shrugged slightly before walking over to where he was sitting but didn't take a seat. Steve noticed her hesitation and sighed before patting the seat next to him - urging her to have a seat which she did.

"Steve, it wasn't what it looked like." Natasha said softly but he didn't reply nor look at her. His eyes were fixed on the screen in front of him. This was his way of avoiding the situation. "Are you okay?"

"Never been better"

She picked up on his sarcasm but chose to ignore it. "Look Steve, I want you to know there is absolutely nothing going on with me and James."

He tensed up when she said his best friend's name. "It's none of my business." He turned his head to look at her and for the first time he noticed how hurt she was feeling also. The exhaustion on her face was more than enough proof. Despite it all, he still found her incredibly beautiful. He quickly turned to look at the screen once more. The last thing he needed was to act on his impulses.

"Can we not do this?" her voice pleaded. Natasha never begged but this was killing her. She could see her best friend slowly slipping out of her reach.

"Do what?"

"This. Avoiding the subject.. Yell at me. Punch a wall. I don't care just don't avoid it"

"I don't want to yell at you. I just don't know how to deal with you." his eyes softened. As much as he wanted to be strong and let things go, his pride was getting in the way. He had to stand his ground. There was no doubt in his mind that Natasha was guilty and knew she was wrong but he needed to be strong in a situation like this. He couldn't easily forgive her. He wanted to but he just couldn't.

"Then how about you talk to me." She reached over to hold his hand but he pulled away as soon as she touched him like a hand on a hot stove.

"Don't you get it. I can't talk to you. I can't even stand being in the same room as you and _him._ Fucked up huh? He's my best friend but right now I can't look at him without wanting to pound his face in." He normally didn't curse but he didn't care right now.

"It's not his fault" Natasha began to defend Bucky. "It's my fault."

"It hurts all the same" he sighed in defeat. "Look, I don't care what is going on with you and him. I mean- I do but it's not my place. All I know is that when I saw you in his arms, it felt like I was drowning. I couldn't breathe, think, or anything. All I felt was pain." He opened his second beer and gulped down the bottle in one shot. "I don't want to feel hurt anymore"

Natasha sat back and listened to his words, understanding exactly what he was feeling. That's how she felt whenever she saw him with Agent Carter. "The fear of losing someone you love sucks doesn't it" she sighed.

"Sure does."

"I love you" she whispered trying to keep her voice steady. She could feel her emotions threatening to take over her. The strong black widow was nonexistent in this situation. The only person left standing was Natasha Romanoff.

"I love you too…" he responded a few minutes later. "No matter what, I'll always love you." he grabbed her hand and stroked it softly with his thumb. He could have lied and told he hated her but he didn't have it in him to hurt her intentionally. That wasn't who he was. The truth is he probably would always be in love with her.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, trying to savor the moment. The tiny bit of affection felt good after what felt like years of separation. Natasha was the first to break the silence.

"Can we fix this?"

Steve sat silently, staring down at his hand in hers. He let her question marinate for a few minutes before opening his mouth to speak. He knew that once it was spoken into existence, there would be no turning back. Of course, he wanted to be with her. There was no doubt in his mind that made him question his love for her. Yet, he wasn't so sure his affections were reciprocated. There was a tiny voice in his head that was still trying to convince him that she still had feelings for his best friend and the last thing he wanted was to get hurt once more.

"I hope so" he said in almost a whisper.

Natasha felt like a huge weight was taken off of her shoulders. His answer, although not full of confidence or certain, meant that he still wanted to be with her - that there was still a chance for her to fix what she had broken. She placed her hands around his face to make sure he could see that she was serious about what she was saying.

"I love you baby. So much. I'm sorry for keeping such a big secret from you." She could see by the look in his eyes that it was going to take a lot of work to gain his trust again. "I want you and only you Steve Rogers. I know I hurt you but I'm going to do everything I can to make it up to you. No more secrets, no more lies. I want this. I'm in it for the long run" she smiled softly before leaning in slightly toward him. She didn't want to overstep any boundaries in case he wasn't ready for it.

Her reservations were put to rest once she felt his lips on hers. The kiss was simple and pure, filled with nothing but love and admiration. After days of separation, both had to admit that it felt right. It was a tiny step toward rebuilding what they had. Things weren't going to magically fix themselves overnight but this was a push in the right direction.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19:** Chapter 19:

The next few days were better but things were still a bit awkward to say the least. As much as Steve wanted to forgive and forget, he couldn't find it in him to be able to do it. It was definitely easier said than done. The times they spent together, he found it hard to be present. It was like he was there physically but his mind was somewhere else. He was starting to question if he was capable of being able to let it go and move on. Of course, Natasha could sense his emotional unavailability but she didn't bring it up. It was her fault that they were even in the state that they were in and she knew that time was the only thing that could mend their relationship. Time to rebuild all the trust that they had lost.

Therefore the both of them were walking on eggshells around each other. The issues between them were obvious but they ignored it - out of sight, out of mind. This meant they weren't talking much but at least they weren't arguing. Steve couldn't wrap his head around how normal couples handled situations like this. This was foreign territory for him. Natasha was currently on a mission and wasn't going to be home til later tonight which came as sort of a relief for Steve. It gave him time to think, more than he already had been if that were possible. The fact of the matter was he couldn't stop thinking. His brain was on overload - torn between his mixed emotions. He wanted to be with Natasha. He loved her with every ounce of his being - there was no doubt in his mind that made him question his feelings for the girl. Yet there was still something holding him back. Bucky.

If Natasha had been in love with any other guy in the past, he would have been fine with it because it wasn't personal. He wouldn't have known the man or in his current situation, see him every day. That wasn't something he could take lightly. It was an awkward situation to be in. A part of him wanted to be mature and understanding enough to put himself in her shoes and say that he would have done the same thing she did but he couldn't. Maybe it was a 21st century norm for friends to date each other's exes and be completely fine with it but Steve was still old fashioned when it came to relationships. How could he be okay with dating the girl his best friend was in love with? How could he look at them and not imagine the worst. Steve sighed and wondered what Bucky must have felt about the whole situation.

Steve had purposely avoided Bucky since they brought him back to Avengers tower. Instead of making the situation any better, it actually caused more sleepless nights for Steve because he was up thinking about what ifs and unrealistic scenarios. The only way he was going to get past this once and for all was to talk to his best friend. At least that way he could make a clear decision on what was best instead of brooding his days away. With his mind made up, Steve decided to go find Bucky and confront him. It didn't take him very long to find Bucky.

He walked slowly over to the table his friend was sitting at and drew in a deep breath before taking a seat across from him.

"Hey stranger" Bucky said with a small smile.

Steve gave an awkward forced smile in return. He didn't know how to approach the topic. Thankfully, Bucky spoke first so he didn't have to come up with some lame ice breaker.

"Ask me."

"Never one to beat around the bush." Steve joked lightly.

"Go head" Bucky said with a shrug.

The way his friend spoke reminded him of Natasha. The two of them had such similar dominant personalities - there was so much in common between them that it added to Steve's insecurities. Him and Natasha were complete opposites of each other. Personality wise, they couldn't be more different. She was everything he was not and vice versa. How can two people who were polar opposite possibly make it work?

"Do you love her?" Steve finally said in a low voice. He had come to far to back away now. The answer was right in front of him and he needed to hear it.

"Yes." Bucky said almost immediately and it made Steve's stomach drop. He had expected that to be the answer since he had noticed the looks Buck would give Natasha whenever they were ever in the same room but it didn't make the blow any less painful. Steve nodded his head slowly, letting it soak in before speaking.

"Do you want to be with her?"

"Does it matter?"

Steve stared at his friend and admired his honesty even if it did hurt. "To me it does." He mentally prepared for the answer that was coming.

Bucky crossed his arms before looking down as if to contemplate his next words.

"It doesn't matter what I want Steve. It's about what she wants and she wants you. She chose you"

Steve knew this of course. Although she lied to him about her relationship, she never gave him any other reason to believe that he wasn't who she wanted. If anything, she had been nothing but loyal and patient with him.

"But you had her first"

This caused Bucky to chuckle.

"We aren't in middle school Steve. God after all these years, you're still an amateur when it came to women and relationships." He shook his head laughing. "It doesn't matter who had who first. What matters is right now. Natasha is in love with you, not me. I'm not going to downplay it like what me and her had wasn't great but it was in the past."

"How can you be so accepting of this when you love her? How could you push her toward someone else" There was no bitterness in his tone, just pure curiosity. Maybe even a hint of jealousy. He was jealous of how Bucky was able to be okay when he was on the brink of losing it.

"Because you love her more than I do. Anyone with a blind eye can see that. If you didn't, it wouldn't hurt. Besides, you've always been an over thinker." He joked lightly before he became serious. "Steve you deserve to be happy and so does she. So stop punishing her for something that happened years before you even knew each other existed.."

Steve looked at his friend and saw nothing but genuineness. It was like a big weight has been lifted off his chest. Not that he needed Bucky's approval to be with Natasha but because he was able to see things in a new perspective and gain closure from it. The only person that was unable to let go was him. Not only was he unable to move on from the secret but he was unable to move on period. There was always apart of him that had trouble letting go of the past because he felt like he didn't belong in the present. He was so scared of being happy because of how things were in the past therefore all the pain he was causing not only to himself but to Natasha as well was rooted in his own insecurity of not being enough to fit in, in the now.

"Thanks Bucky."

"Be happy Steve." Bucky stood up and just before he turned to leave "And if you hurt her, you will be the stupidest man alive. Not to mention I will kick your ass." he gave his friend a joking smirk and left.

Steve laughed softly and watched Bucky leave. There was no way he was going to let her go again. If there was one thing he had learned throughout this experience was that there was no Steve Rogers without Natasha Romanoff, at least not anymore. So he got up and made his way back to his apartment to patiently await his girlfriend's return. He was going to fix this. He was going to fix them.

* * *

He opened the door to his apartment and was surprised by a sweet smell of dinner cooking. He could hear some music playing in the background and a soft sizzle of whatever was cooking on the stove. He closed the door quietly and walked toward the kitchen. The sound of her singing along to the song brought a smile to his face. He stood back, admiring the view of her cooking dinner. She had on one of his t shirts on. She looked more beautiful than he had ever seen her. Sure, she was gorgeous all the time but in this very moment Steve found her breathtaking. The simple, casual look brought out the vulnerability in her. Right now, she was Natasha not the Black widow.

"It's not nice sneaking up on people" she teased him without turning to look at him bringing him out of his thoughts.

"You're home early." he said softly as he walked up behind her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"There was no mission. I wanted to surprise you with dinner" she said with a shrug as if it were no big deal. However it was, and Steve knew that. This was her way of trying to work things out. She's been doing it ever since they have decided to work on their relationship, only he was to blinded by his own insecurities to notice the efforts she was putting in. It made him even more mad at himself for being so stupid to begin with. He sighed softly before placing another kiss softly on her temple and wrapping his arms protectively around her waist.

"What is it?" she turned around to look at him. "What's wrong baby?" Her eyes were filled with concern. Scared that she had upset him again. All she wanted was to surprise him with a nice dinner and hopefully bring up his spirits.

"Nothing." He shook his head. He lightly cupped a hand on her cheek and kissed her lips softly and then leaned his forehead onto hers. "I'm sorry for how I've been acting lately." he said with his eyes closed.

"No I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied. You have every right to be upset"

Steve pulled back and looked deep into her eyes and saw the sadness that were in them. She cared about him so much. How could he have ignored that? He shook his head again.

"I was hurt. Partially because of your relationship with Bucky. I-I was insecure. He was always such a ladies man. He's more experienced than -"

He was cut off by her lips, kissing him passionately which he returned with the same about of desire.

"There's no reason to be insecure." she whispered.

"I know but I was. It was stupid. I just don't want to lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere" It felt strange for her to be so open about her feelings but it came naturally with Steve. She trusted him with everything. It felt so good to be able to have complete trust in someone. This was what being in love was and she loved every second of it.

"I love you Steve."

"I love you too and I want to spend the rest of my life with you for as long as you would have me"

She pulled away slightly, touched by his words. No one has ever made her feel worthy enough to even think about having a future. She pulled him down for another kiss, wanting to savor the moment forever. This is where she belonged.

"Make me a promise." he said once they broke their kiss.

"Hmm."

"No matter what happens, we'll be together."

She smiled at him before nodding in agreement.

"You know what that means right" she smirked at him.

"What is that?"

"You're stuck with me forever."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." He pecked her lips softly. "Forever and always"

 _AN: Sorry for the long break. Things have been so crazy lately. I wanted to make this story a little longer but I didn't want to drag it. So here is the final chapter. Hopefully you guys enjoyed it. Thank you for all the reviews and love I've received. I truly appreciate you guys._


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